I Am Brillantly Inept

Poof! I'm BACK

2010-01-19T15:14:00.004-09:00

No it hasn't been almost a year since I wrote last...I've actually gone back in time to restart a year....by adding a year? errr....

Okay that sounded way better in my head then on the screen!

What can I say? 2009 was one heck of a year for little 'ole me. To sum up very fast...lots of our stuff broke, I was hospitalized for 4 days due to a severe asthma attack (no didn't know i had asthma, but it did get me to stop smoking GO ME), Dear Hubbs had three surgeries...two for back prob and one for getting his tonsils out.

Bleh.

Oh but it's a new year! Which started out on the 31st with a huge BANG! Okay, okay-it was more of a sputter as my van stopped working on the road and we had to blow on the windshield to get to the side of the road.

It's now 20 days later and the van is just about (FINALLY) ready to be back on the road. Another long (and terribly oily-garagey-and utterly confusing) story made short....the transmission stuff got mised with the radiator stuff cause something broke.

Anywho..it's almost fixed thanks to the wonderful hubs. I really am quite thrilled, proud and amused that he's been able to fix it! Well...at least it appears that it's fixed, we've yet to do a test. (cross your fingers)

Okay, so my point is that I was gone, and now i'm back. To what end or what purpose i do not know! But please stay tuned for tomorrows "Wednesday Wow"....Not sure what I'll be WOWing, but there's enough to do around here!

My strange dog

2009-02-10T09:46:00.002-09:00

Jake the Dog....Is about a year and half old. Black lab and Aussie Cattle Dog mix. And he's weird.

Before I came into the room, he was laying in his corner, snoozing. He had his chew-toy between his paws, and looked quite happy and peacefull. Then I walked in. He jumped up and started running around the room. Ran to the door, looked out, ran around the room....etc. So I opened the door. He than ran around the room, searching for something to take outside WITH him.

I stepped on the chew-toy, and he found a pair of kid scissors (hey I was looking for those!) and tried to slip out the door.

Yup, my dog tries to find toys to take outside with him. Which he then throws into the air, catches, runs around with and looses. Oh, and chews into teeny pieces.

He also brings toys IN from the great outdoors. Yesterday he tried to bring in a stick, a rock and something brown and frozen. (ewww)

I'm sure we'll find at least most of his toys outside once the snow melts. At least I hope we do! There's at least 8 toys out there somewhere.

In other news...all four kids are home sick today. High fevers and a couple have reported abnormal freqency of trips to the bathroom. Okay, so this is rather normal....except it's Monkey Man's BIRTHDAY! Poor kid.

Wednesday WOW...part 2

2009-02-04T11:44:00.004-09:00

I did it! I'm done! Wheeeee!

It wasn't too bad, not even as gross as I thought it would be! No yuckiness to share on this WOW. Sorry...maybe next week's!

As I said...most of the mess was school paperwork. I was diligent and looked at it all as my hand was heading over to the recycle box. No, I don't save all the kids' school work...the house would be filled to the rafters if I did that!

And...to prove that I do more than sit & read blogs of people I've never met....

Voila!

Located the blanket that's supposed to be somewhat covering the really stained couch! Found the floor & couch! Moved the couch forward just a tad to semi-cover the paint splatter on the floor (that happened when the paint fell OFF the couch...um yeah)

I also cleaned off the 'chifferobe' (it's a free-standing old type closet), and make it purty! But I'm not sure about it. What say you?

Wednesday Wow

2009-02-04T07:10:00.005-09:00

Here's the very first installment of something I made up...called Wednesday Wow! At least I think I made it up! Every Wednesday, I'll undertake a huge mission in my house, and post before/after pictures. Along with and gross/funny moments that happen in the midst of cleaning.

This is a two-part post. Part one being me posting how much I don't wanna...which area I'm going to do and a pic to prove it's gunna be a WOW! Part two will be the story and the amazing after pictures.

And now on to the post...

Ever have one of those days in which you just want to clean, clean, clean? Naw, me either.

I do want my house to be clean, though. Would I be a 'bad mommy' if I kept the children home today to do it all for me (er, I mean help me...)?

Now, today is Wednesday...my long day. Which means that Monkey Man stays at Kindergarten all day and rides the bus home (as opposed to every other day, I have to pick him up at 2). Which also means that if I budget my time wisely, I will be able to get a lot of cleaning done, alot of WWW surfing done, and alot of me time done. Maybe even workout some....maybe not.

Okay, okay...I vow to clean at least the Den (aka office, junk room, part-time entry, dog room, disaster) today. Along with the 'normal' chores of the day...being dishes, picking up the bath mess in the bathroom, and general pickup of the living room.

WHY must I vow to clean the Den? Here's why....

The children got home yesterday and their backpacks spewed all this paper-type stuff! Where does it all come from?

Okay...you will also notice table legs, a can of paint (or two) and various other things...I cannot say with certainty that these things were there before yesterday afternoon...

But, MOST of this wasn't here before they got home yesterday!

*notice the empty laundry basket? yea, doesn't get used much*

Yes, I'll post an 'after' picture. Just so I can redeem myself! The paint splatter on the floor will still be there, though.

Randomness

2009-02-03T09:09:00.002-09:00

'Cause I can...and 'cause I can't think of anything else to write. I'm 'stealing' this list idea from Lemony Sarah, and my Aunt on Facebook...even though she didn't tag me & this isn't going on facebook...

Random Facts about me...

1. When I tell people I grew up in Arizona, they always assume desert. I grew up at about 7500 feet elevation. Yeah, we got snow!

2. When I tell people I live in Alaska, they always ask if it's always dark, or if there really are igloos

3. I remember playing with weeds and sticks more often than toys as a kid.

4. I started kindergarten a few days before my 5th birthday...right after lunch time...without having had lunch

5. There were 4 children in my kindergarten class

6. There were 12 kids in my 6th grade class...the biggest class to date for the school

7. I am a VERY messy painter. Paint all over myself, but never on the floor

8. I was pregnant or breastfeeding for a total of 86 months. That's about 7 years.

9. I used to collect lighthouses, but got bored with it

10. I was the first girl in my family (dad's side) to be born with a dimple on my chin

11. I'd never pulled into or out of a garage until about a month ago

12. I do not like Starbucks coffee! I prefer any of the coffee 'shacks' that can be found on almost every street corner up here. 20-oz, 4-shot White chocolate mocha. Starbucks uses syrup chocolate...yuck!

13. My first car was a 1975 Chevy Nova. I want it back

14. I do not watch or listen to the news.

15. I just took a 30 minute "break" to wash the dishes, cause I was stuck

16. I'd drink rum, vodka, tequila, scotch, burbon...etc. or even beer before wine...

17. I used to clean with a baby boa (yes snake) wrapped around in my hair.

18. I don't really know any of my cousins, or Aunts & Uncles. Have only met them a few times. We lived in Arizona, while they all lived in Michigan or Florida.

19. I love spicey food!

20. I think Dr. Pepper really does taste like pepper

21. I used to hate sleeping with socks on. Now I can't sleep without them on

22. I can only drink distilled water...after the water guy distilled our "GOOD" well water and showed us what is left-over...BLEH!

23. Yes, I recycle the bottles for all the water!

24. I want either a HUGE dog or a teeny-tiny dog...or both

25. I attended a different high school's classes as a visitor while ditching MY classes

It's the thought that counts

2009-01-30T07:32:00.004-09:00

I started the day's chores taking pictures. Before and after...messy and ordered...dirty and clean. I got a lot of stuff done in our living room. Which is the large room that holds the living room, dining room and kitchen. And I do mean LOTS! Every surface was decluttered, wiped and beautified. Every piece of purties on surfaces and walls was dusted, shined and leveled (there was quite a lot of pictures that were not straight).

Then, I sat down and looked through all the store fliers and made my plan for grocery shopping today. Which I NEVER do...I usually just goto one store and get what's on my list. I took a picture of all the adds on the table, my list and menu.

Somewhere between helping Bone Head with his English homework and Captain coming home...I lost it all. Lost the reason behind doing what I'd began. Lost the motivation to do a picture post about all that I accomplished in the day. Lost the nerve to post pictures of my really messy house. Lost the idea I had for what to write with those wonderful pictures.

But the most important one....I lost the damn pictures!

Monkey Man "borrowed" my camera. There's a lovely picture of the fish tank (at least I think it's the fish tank), some of the dogs and the ferret. And a really GREAT one of my butt.

But really, my house is really, really clean! Well...at least part of it.

You believe me, right?

Web Cleaning

2008-12-13T10:47:00.003-09:00

I spent much of yesterday and some of this morning cleaning up my favorites files. But that's not the fun part! I cleaned up, sprused up, and freshened HERE!

This is the awesome shot I got from my front porch yesterday morning...while it was -12 degrees F.

Isn't that just too cool? I love it! I just happened to glance out the door when I walked by after getting my 3rd cup of coffee. Thrilled that this actually came out, since I had had 2 cups already, and I had zoomed to 12X on the camera and the little icon alerting me to "shaking" was going nuts.

Back to the task at hand for today. No, I didn't manage to clean out the fridge yesterday. I lost my nerve! Plus my momma was online all day, so I talked to her! HA!

Today the kids are home. Right now the boys are playing Wii, the girls are playing with the ferret, and I'm playing with my computer. The state of the house is, well...not good.

I keep telling myself...ONE more blog, one more page, one more cuppa...one more anything! Cause I'm sure I'll find some motivation somewhere...just gotta search hard enough for it!

Please do check out any and all of my friends' (yes they are my friends, even if they don't know it....) blogs over on the sidebar. They are great! Don't forget to READ all the way to the bottom (if you haven't yet) and see the new TWLOHA thingy down there (which may be moved soon). And don't forget to VOTE on your least-favorite cleaning chore!

I'm off to ruin my children's day off by making them do their chores. Muahahahaa. Well, maybe we'll play the game I made up (see below), they seem to like it...somewhat!

Cleaning Game

1. On small scraps of paper, write down as many house-hold chores that you would allow your children to do. Eg. wash window, sweep, clean toilet, mop, wash chairs, pick up toys, trash pickup (5 items), put away dishes....etc. The list can be as big or as small as you want! Put doubles in to get more of the same thing done!

2. Get two containers

3. Put all scraps in one.

4. Get kids...sometimes they hide under the bed...look there first! *

5. Each kid draws out one piece of paper, then does the chore.

6. When the chore is done, put the scrap in the 2nd container.

7. You can also make this a race, if you have competitive children. Have a container for each kid! Whoever gets the most done in a certain ammount of time WINS!

Check back (maybe monday) for another fun game that allows you to make your children do your chores!

* Really, I PROMISE that my kids do like this game! Once they get into it, they have a blast and it takes them about 45 minutes to get all the way through...and POOF the house is pretty clean!

Whistle while you work

2008-12-12T07:47:00.002-09:00

So the kids have learned a new song at school. It goes "I'm a geek, geek, geek. But I don't care, care, care. Cause you're a dork, dork, dork. Wha!"

I think I've heard this 30 times this morning...and they have only been awake for 45 minutes. So, between 3 kids and 45 minutes...that's um...alot. Princess Pout even sang it to the dog.

This leads me to wonder what other gems of crudeness my children are learning in school. There's been a few things that I go "Hey, that's not how it goes...it goes like this"....course, I can't remember what that was now...lol But somewhere in the 20 years since I was in 4th grade...the actual song/saying/thingy has gotten transmutted and they got it all wrong now.

Okay, after that little diversion...it's back to the topic on hand...yup, you guessed it...CLEANING! It's been a few posts since I've actually gotten down and dirty, and it's tiiiime!!!

Recently, I've been dealing with hair...dog hair. It's everywhere! It doesn't help that there's 4 dogs in the house (one of which is mine), and they all do have hair! But the main problem is my dog. For some reason, he's shedding like it just turned 1000 degrees.

I'm no dog phsycologist...but if I had to guess, I'd say it's stress. He wasn't shedding before the other dogs got here. He's in his kennel* for the least ammount of time I can manage...with rotating the dogs' "out time" throughout the day, while I'm home.

So, on to the cleaning of dog hair. I've got a pretty great vacuum cleaner. It sucks good (ha). But I have to vacuum his kennel and around it at least 2 times a day, or the hair finds it's way into the whole house. It's easy, no big...a few seconds time. But it's doing a number on the ammount of vacuum bags I have to use! LOL

Ugh, is this post lame, or is it just me? Um...wait a minute-dont' answer that.

Today's to-do list!!!
Besides the normal day-to-day cleaning, that is!

The FRIDGE! Yup, just that. It's a huge job, believe me. If I'm brave, I'll take pics to post. But I'm not sure....I don't know if I'll want to remember this adventure forever captured in photographs AND in the blogosphere...

Snow removal

2008-12-11T12:21:00.005-09:00

If you are as fortunate as I to live in a place where you just might wake up to see oh....8 inches of fluffy white stuff outside-You are familar with snow removal. Here's my take on it all.

If you want to do it the old-fashioned, back-breaking way...

This little beauty, while cheap, aint easy to use. Bend, scoop, lift and toss. It's a device that should only be used to punish children. By making THEM use it...

If you prefer the only slightly less back-breaking and way more noisey way...

This dandy invention must be the wet-dream of nearly every testosterone-driven man in the world. It's not nice, it's the evil dragon of winter. It will eat you up and spit you out, figuretivly & literally..ouch! *check out the last photo* haha

Then of course there's the sane way...

First you use one of these....

To call one of these.....

Then sit back in the comfort of your wam house with your choice of this....

I, on the other hand, am apparently not sane...So I used a combination of the first two to clear out my driveway.

I am, however, going to use some of this once I can move again to get to my favorite store.

Goes great in Hot chocolate...and I'm sure will help me recover my sanity.

*If you are curious just what a snowblower can do to a tin coffee can....

~*~ And I didn't ONCE use the 'c' word! HA!!! ~*~

Tag you're it

2008-11-05T09:36:00.002-09:00

Manic Mom tagged everyone (and I do mean everyone) for this meme. And since I consider myself part of "everyone"...here goes.

You answer the questions, but you can only use ONE word to do so.

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? arkansas
3. Your hair color? natural
4. Your mother? teacher
5. Your father? funny
6. Your favorite thing? books
7. Your dream last night? absent
8. Your dream/goal? security
9. The room your in? Den
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? falling
12. Where do you want to be in six years? warm
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not? awake
15. One of your wish list items? babysitters
16. Where you grew up? Arizona
17. The last thing you did? eat
18. What are you wearing? pajamas
19. Your TV? on
20. Your pet? some
21. Your computer? running
22. Your mood? lonely
23. Missing someone? honey
24. Your car? frosted
25. Something you’re not wearing? brace (yeah i should be though...bad me)
26. Favorite store? none
27. Your summer? rainy
28. Love someone? many
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? earlier
31. Last time you cried? saturday

All done...how informative and yet so criptic! Love it. And yes...IF you're reading this, you are tagged! Lucky you!

I'll blame the lack of sleep...or the cold.

2008-10-28T06:43:00.003-08:00

I swear I came up with some really great stuff to post last night, while laying in bed trying to goto sleep. I promise it was all really great, funny, and a rare look inside to the "real me". But, of course, I did fall alseep (eventually), and forgot it all.

Except to say that we still have at least one mouse. And the little bugger is either one very picky eater...or it's smarter than the average mouse. Peanut butter failed, as did the jelly (it was even strawberry), so I'll be off to get some spray-cheese to try that on our ONE remaining working mouse trap. Because while this mouse doesn't like our offerings...our doggy does! Aparently he's not much smarter, cause the snap of the trap on his tongue (or nose) isn't enough to stop him from trying to get under EVERYTHING if there's a trap under it.

Seriously...he tried like CRAZY to get under the bookshelf...which has a floor clearance of about 2 inches. I'm just glad it's attached to the walls!

It is offically 'winter' in Sarah Palin's state! Yup, the snow fell and stuck...and all the silly 4x4 drivers went off into the ditches. I'm really trying to have fun this year. I stuck pretty snowflake window clings on my kitchen window...trying to block out the yucky snow that's actually outside the window....it's not really helping.

It might help a little more if I didn't have to air-up a tie on the van at least once a day. I'd even be happy with the old cassette player/radio if that meant I didn't have to air up a tie in the FREEZING wind....but no. Captain decided that I needed a nifty CD player instead. Okay, okay...we didn't know that the tie was going to die when he got the CD player! But, that used our monthly "car money"...so I gotta stand in the wind and snow for a few more days...airing up that blessed tie (see it's blessed, maybe when I go out it will still be full...hahahhaaa)

Can your brain freeze while you are still living--er and maybe airing up a tire? I think I'll blame the cold on my impending insanity. Half-frozen brain trauma...yeah....I hear a vacation to somewhere warm calling me!

And there is still 6 months of this to go.....

2008-07-29T09:56:00.003-08:00

Okay, the mouse isn't imaginary. I saw it on Sunday. It skurried from the utility room into the laundry/pantry/junk room then along the wall to behind the freezer then from the other side of the freezer to under the shelf we have for shoes.

So, yeah...there's at least one mouse in the house. Although, the traps are un-touched! Either this is one smart-assed mouse (ew mice?), or there's too much other stuff hidden to entice the mouse to eat of the death-trap peanut butter. Since I refuse to believe that these rodents have evolved or learned enough to know to stay away from traps (i mean we're out in the woods, where would they learn that...) (COULD they learn that?)

Okay, so I'm thinking there's food elsewhere...you know what that means....yup my favorite subject! Cleaning!

So yesterday I O.C.ed (my sis and I's term for detail cleaning) the kitchen/dining/living rooms. As well as the Den. I also rearranged the living room, and we LOVE it! I took every single item out of drawers, cupboards and cubbies and cleaned it all out, cleaned up the bottles etc. Cleaned the floors and the table and chairs...took apart the couch and cleaned all that.

Lemme tell you (should I be ashamed?) that I found a LOT of crumbs. This find lend me to the realization (with the help of Captain) that since December, we've only really been cleaning the surface. Haven't had the time or energy to really clean the place.

Okay, yeah...here and there I've done some major stuff...not even including the kids' rooms! But it really hasn't been enough or often enough to make a difference.

Today my plan was to do the laundry/pantry/junk room and try to hit the kids' rooms again. Yeah...but of course the day dawned mostly sunny and just beautiful. I don't know where my children are. They ate breakfast (eww we only have the apple oatmeal left, mom) and took off to the winds. That's fine by me, they've been driving me up the wall for over a week cause the weather has been horrible!

And so...I'm bravely attacking the laundry etc room today...by myself. I just picked up all the laundry that the kids have thrown on the floor (for fear of entering mouse infested area). If I can do it...I plan to move out the washer and dryer and clean behind/under those. And also try to move the freezer to clean around that area....it's empty so there's a 5% chance that I'll be able to move it.

And yes, I'm prepared to scream as if my life depends on it if I do find that smart little mouse behind anything!

Ps If I somehow have the energy or motivation after all that, I'm going to try to re-organize the shelves in the room too....they seriously need help...

pps. check back later today or tomorrow for a PHOTO post! About what? Well...Cleaning of course!

Real and Imaginary

2008-07-22T09:54:00.003-08:00

Yikes! I posted a comment on one of my favorite blogs just now...without thinking that someone out there might read it, and then click on over here! So I thought I might come on over, take down the dust covers and spruce the place up. At least post something...something hopefully not related to cleaning or the weather...

*****40 minutes later******

Um yeah, can't think of anything. Haha, no really, it hasn't been 40 minutes. But I really can't think of anything.

Honetly, my life is consumed by cleaning. Dishes, sweeping, dirty toilets, laundry. With 6 people in the house and several "extras" all the time (neighborhood kids, friends and family), the place can get quite messy. And by messy I don't mean a few toys on the floor. I mean the sort of messy that makes you want to rent a front-end loader to just clear it all out and start over.

Oh pooh...I've already gone and wrote about cleaning twice!

Monkey Man came running up to me this morning in tears. He said that a spider stole his bouncy ball. I laughed and he glared. My first thought was something like a Dung Beetle rolling a ball of turds...only this being a large spider rolling away on his bouncy ball.* Funny to me, but not so much to a five year old scared of spiders (all my kids are scared of spiders, I think I did it to them when we lived in Georgia and told them to RUN SCREAMING if they saw one-um yeah). So anyway, I got ahold of myself and followed him to the ball-stealing spider.

He asked me what I was going to do. "Well, I'm going to go beat up that ball-stealing spider!" He cheered.

Sure enough, there was his bouncy ball, just under the stove, and when I rolled it away with my shoe (ew I'm not scared of spiders, but I don't like them much either), there was a rather large spider. And in true ball-stealing bulliness, once it fell off the ball, it ran AT me. AHHIEEEE!

Squish!** All is better! No bully spider is gunna get away with stealing my baby's play-things! Ha!

Of course, a few minutes later....M.M. uses said bouncy ball as a progectile weapon against his brother. Good thing he has bad aim!

In other "pest" tales...two of my children have reportedly seen mice in the house...in two different places. I dutifully bought a few traps ***, and wonderful Captain set them up. In the search for the best places to put them, we found zero signs of mice in the house. NONE at all. Not even in the crawl space...where we did find a half-eaten bag of stale cheetos, a pizza crust and a soda can...but not even one mouse turd! We did set the traps, though, just in case. Although, I'm pretty sure that the trap in the garage is um, full, the ones in the house are un-touched.

I'm starting to think that I've caused this pest scare as well. See...about a week ago, I helped the girls to clean their room (oh no more about cleaning!). And was totally disgusted. Needless to say, they are grounded from sweets/yummies for a little while. We found packaging for soda, chips, cookies, ice cream, candy and crackers. And several cups, spoons and two plates. Yeah. And no, they aren't allowed to eat in their rooms. Allowed being the key word here.

All of this was hidden quite well...jambed way under the bed, in between the bed and the wall, in drawers and even an empty bag in between the mattress and the box.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah!

While sweeping up tons of food crumbs off the floor, I laid it on thick. "I'm surprised you don't have bugs and mice in here!" Bugs and mice love this sort of stuff...lots of food and great places to hide! The girls looked dutifully ashamed (but didn't stop Princess Pout from stealing the rest of Daddy's Triple Strawberry Ice Cream a few days later and hiding the carton in her dresser).

So, yeah, I think with all of that, they got it in their heads that since they are the little pigs **** that they are, there must be mice in the house. Ha ha ha...jokes on me-who's out the $ spent on the traps we probably don't need.

* Interestingly gross...in searching for a pic of a spider on a ball (bug circus style), I ran across this rather disturbing site. I guess this guy's got talent, but who'd want these things?

** Yes, I squished the spider...I have no problems with that at all. Don't tell me it's animal cruelty, or bad luck or any of that. I love all of God's creatures, but Spiders are gross!

*** Yes, they are KILL traps...see above

**** Yes, I know pigs are actually very clean! And I love pigs. I don't love food all over the place!

Need foot products?

2008-07-14T12:39:00.003-08:00

Okay...just a quick note to ask google ads WHY my blog gets foot stuff ads?

I don't think I've even written the word FOOT in the time I've been writing! Foot doesn't cross my daily vocabulary as much as one might think...unless you ask me about all the times that I've been sitting on the couch and someone sticks a foot in my face, telling me to smell it. Unless you ask about the time that someone stepped on a nail, I'd guess I would have to say the word foot. Unless you ask what's at the foot of my bed (um nothing). Unless you ask what's on my foot, duh, shoes. Unless you ask me what a footer is...which is a thingy at the end of an essay or something like that...I know what it is, just can't explain it. ha, so don't ask.

So, foot, to my knowledge, has never been written in this blog...until today...and I write this foot post in hopes that Google ads will put different ads on my blog. Hmm...may I suggest something else totally un-realted like....hmm condoms.

I don't know how, but my flowers are blooming

2008-07-14T11:54:00.003-08:00

Do you rememer your 7th birthday? I don't. Well, maybe I could if I talked to my sister. She seems to have a perfect memory...or maybe it's just that she remembers some odd things that I don't remember. Like the fact that Dad drove a water delivery truck for like THREE YEARS...I didn't remeber that at all....so yeah, maybe she'd remember my 7th birthday...although she was only 5. lol

So.....#3 (Shorty) is turning 7 tomorrow. I'd thought about writing one of those touching, from-the-heart letters to her...one she'll probably never read, but speaks about how much I love her and can't wait to see the woman she's becomeing....yeah, um....Probably not.

There's just too much to do. Like usuall. Today is falling under the "ugh it's how late" catagory. Not that I've spent a lot of time goofing off this morning...at least it didn't feel like a lot of time. But it's already noon, and the list of things done is agonizingly short. Although I have already ticked off Monkey Man THREE whole times today. Whoohooo go me! Oh and I have gotten coffee (of course), although I'm not sure if one cup is gunna cut it...I may have to make more.

OH my! Bone Head got his hair done on Saturday! His hair was rapidly changing from baby blonde to darker blonde...and he badly needed a haircut. So, Captain took him and MM to the hair place. They came back with an adorable bowl cut for M.M. Shaved underneath and long on top :) And my eldest child came home with what I can only describe as a "Jonas Brothers" do. Yea...his hair is now dark brown (chocolate to be exact), with a blonde-blonde area above his forehead. He LOVES it. Shocked the heck outta me...but looks good. At least it looks like it's supposed to be messy.

Okay, okay...going to get busy on my list of adventures today. Yeah...adventures sounds WAY more interesting then chores. Hm...I may be on to something here. I'll test it out on the kids and get back to ya. "Hey kids...we need to start our adventures today". Hey, might work!

ps. Oh and yeah...the flowers are blooming...the ones that I didn't plant, and haven't touched are doing splendidly....the stuff I planted or take care of...isn't.

pps Okay...the tomato and the squash are doing good...but that's because Captain took those over. hahahahahahaaaa

Yes, another cleaning post!

2008-06-14T10:38:00.003-08:00

You know that you really, really need to get some cleaning done when it takes you 5 minutes to locate the broom and dust pan...and you need to call in the search hounds to find the cleaner. It eludes me as to why these items were not in their homes, even though they haven't been used in over a week.

My wonderful Captain will be home from school in just eight days, and I just realized that I haven't gotten anything don that I said I was going to. On that list was...

1. Kill weeds and level out the area for the "secret garden" decking
2. Clean out green house and plant plants
3. Till garden area and plant plants
4. Clean up garage and have a yard sale

On the lit contributing to the fact that I haven't done a single one of these things...

1. Too tired at the end of the day to do much else than make dinner and pass out
2. I don't wanna
3. Overwhelmed by the ammount of yuck and (ew) spiders in the green house
4. RAIN! And yucky weather
5. I don't wanna
6. I searched for the "round-to-it", but it must have run away with my motivation, I'll be calling the dairy to post their pictures on milk cartons as soon as I find some motivation....maybe I can borrow some one else's
7. When I walk into the garage....well it's not a pretty picture at all. Between the cardboard space ship (waycool), MIL's stuff from moving that we haven't gotten around to taking to her house, the gear for Captain's job, and various other things that "belong" in a garage, oh and the garage sale stuff, stuffed into every little hole I could find... UGH...........I DON'T WANNA!

Okay, so it's Saturday, and I'm really supposed to be at WORK (the paying kind) right now, but my sitter is sick..so I'm not. Whew! I really didn't want to work today.

I DID find some motivation (prolly stolen, not borrowed), and am cleaning. The house. I must. I do this massive "oh crap" cleaning just about every Saturday. Because I wake up in the morning, look around and wonder what oh...Child Protective Services would think about my house. I worry that they would whisk my children away on the spot when they see the ring in the tub, or the 6 loads of laundry waiting to be either washed, folded or put away.

Okay, Okay....my house really isn't all that bad. No CPS agent would take kids away because of the state of my house. But that still doesn't mean that I LIKE the state my house gets into after all week of just barely doing anything.

It has just occured to me that a lot of my posts have been about cleaning. Maybe because when I take a break from cleaning I think...hmmm good time to blog and what's on my mind...cleaning. Maybe because I really know cleaning...I clean alot. Despite the fact that I barely clean during the week.

Maybe because it's a nice, safe topic to write about because I don't feel open enough to talk about things like my underware, bra shopping, details of my past and/or sex life.

Yup, I think that's probably the best reason...err excuse!

Okay I'm off to do another 15 minuts...as directed by the wonderful FlyLady....her system/method/rules really does work....as long as you do them! Check her out!* She's much funnier than I am.

* There's a LOT on her site! Take it slow and have fun! ;)

Ranting...cause I'm ticked and I can.

2008-06-06T19:35:00.003-08:00

I need to rant. About work...once again.

I've spoken to the Manager and Assistant Manager several times now about them finding me a new job to do in the store so that I can give my arm a chance to heal. Early this week (I think it was Monday), they said that today was going to be my last day being a cashier, and that I'd do "something" else. They said that they'd tell the person in charge of the cashiers, so that she wouldn't schedule me.

Um...Yeah....I'm scheduled for the coming week...as a cashier. The manager has NO IDEA what I'm going to be doing, but thinks that the assistant manager has something in mind...and can I finish out the next week as cashier? GRRR NO! What part of "I need to stop" dont' you understand?

Okay, since I'm not ticked at my fellow cashiers or the person in charge of us, I'll work the next week...just so that they aren't short. But, if they dont' have something new for me starting the next Monday, I'm quitting on the spot. I already told the cashier's manager to not put me on the next schedule...so that's covered. We'll see.....right now I feel like they are just leading me on....dicking me around-so to speak.

In other news....ummm.....There is no other news....I don't have any cute stories about what the kids did today....I barely know what they did today. I hate working and not being the central part in their lives. Hell...I don't even know what they had for lunch today. I hate this....

Summer Gripes...

2008-05-15T07:38:00.003-08:00

The last day of school is the 20th. This leaves us just 6 days until the children of the Valley run amock in every corner, hill, dale and road.

This post is about all the things that I don't like about children being out of school for the summer....(by children, I mean in general, not mine, that post will have to wait, it's too long)

The kids up the road will get honked at, I guarentee it. The other day, on the way out, I drove up the road to find three little boys riding their bikes in the road. No biggie, it's a rural road, and where else do you ride a bike? Well, I slowed down even further (speed limit is 20), and waited for them to get off the road to let me pass. Two of them did, the other looked at me, and proceeded to ride in circles in the middle of the road. He finally moved, and I wen ton my fuming way....after I told my kids that if I ever caught them acting stupid like that in the road I'd do all sorts of un-lovely things...top of the list would be taking bikes away.

They all swore, and I admitted they are all very well-behaved when it comes to giving vehicles their space to pass. They all get OFF the road and STOP until the vehicle is past. Hurray! I taught them something right!

On the other hand, they aren't getting themselves ready for school.

The other thing I'm not ready to handle during the summer....the loads of kids coming into the store buying all the candy and engery drinks (OMG, parents do you know your kids are getting energy drinks at the age of 10?), and paying with all their hard-earned (or found) change.

Okay that shouldn't be as bad for me this year, since I'm at the grocery store, and not the gas station like last year. Hopefully.

But the change doesn't bug me as much as the energy drinks does. Seriously, does an average 10 to 15 year old NEED energy drinks? I don't think so! I've even had parents in my checkout, actually buying cases of these things for their kids! Makes me really want to refuse to let them get the darn things. Am I allowed to do that? Can I seriously ask the customer if they are buying the drinks for themselves (also not a great choice of beverage for an adult), or the kids? Can I follow them home and make sure they aren't allowing Jr. to drink mass quanities of sugar, caffiene and "herbs" so they can stay up all night and keep everyone who has to work in the morning awake?

Living here it isnt' quite so bad. But when we used to live "in town", there would be children up and in the road, or near-by yards playing loudly until all hours of the night. There was even one family that apparently let their children just pass out whenever they felt like it, since the kids were routinly awake at 2 am.

My children will be awoken no later than 8 am during the summer (if they aren't already up), and will be sent to bed no later than 10 pm-but most likely closer to 8:30 or 9:00. A slight change in the schedule, to allow for more playing in the wonderful Alaska Sun.

How does your summertime schedule differ from your school-time schedule? I'll share ours in the next post! Until then....the countdown is on!

Rants and Raves

2008-04-29T08:06:00.002-08:00

Okay, maybe a bit more rants than that of raves today, but we'll see what comes to pass....

I offically HATE my printer. Not only is the ink expensive enough that you have to take a second mortgage out to afford it, it does not print if one of those ink containers is out of ink. It will not do anything. It's an "all in one" that doesn't do a thing if there's no ink. I can't even scan, which takes no ink at all.

I also offically hate mornings like this. I woke the kids up just a little bit late this morning, and told them to hurry a little, and was met by Shorty flopping on the floor in a fit of tears, saying that it was all Princess's fault. Um, no, it's Mama's fault, dear, now get your butt dressed. She progressed from this colapsed state into the screaming and crying state through the morning.

Which, as you can imagine, drives everyone in the house up the wall. Monkey is now in a bad mood, and Princess it in her room pouting because I told her (for the millionth time) that she CAN NOT wear the same shirt two days in a row. OMG, she just came upstairs wrapped in a blanket. Wearng the same shirt, but without pants. Breathe, Mama, breathe......

They have to be out of the house in 7 minutes.....and Yuppers, I'm sitting here blogging it instead of dressing my NINE year old daughter. She'll just have to figure it out and get yelled at, cause I told her 40 minutes ago that she had to change.

Work rant.....Every morning,us cashiers have to sign out a counterfit pen from the Cash Audit lady. And in turn we have to return and sign in the pen when our shift is over. I've been signing the paper upside-down every day, because well....because I'm lazy for the most part. But because I dont' see why I should have to take an extra minute to turn it around to sign the right way and turn it back around, when there's customers waiting. ANYWHO....yesterday the Cash Audit Troll was saying my name(I should think of a name for myself) as I was signing. I finished and turned aroung. She told me to turn the paper around and sign the right way. I just looked at her with a blank stare. When my shift was over, I signed upside-down.

Today I'll be signing the right way, but under the name "Samantha Stevens".

Ummm....raves? I love Vanilla-Nut coffee creamer!

This and that - cause I can't think of a catchy title

2008-04-16T09:11:00.004-08:00

Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) is when your nerve and artery gets pinched in between your colar bone and your first rib. (That's WAY layman's terms, I'm in no way professional about explaining things like that) And that's apparently what's wrong with my arm.

How to correct? Push, pull, prod, stretch and strengthen. And a whole lotta painfull crap. And even more of getting "yelled" at to stand and sit up straighter. Fun stuff...where's Mom when I need her...and when the Hell did I start NOT standing and sitting up straight? Seriously, I really thought that my posture was good...if not great, it was at least Okay. Not so. I could stand in for the Hunchback of Notradame when sitting....

Okay, it's not that bad.

The therapy hurts though.

Having TOS explains at least one thing, though. All those times when I went to the Doc for various things and they asked if I've always had low blood pressure....well yeah, if you take the readings in my right arm, I do...the damn artery is pinched!

In other news...Old Man Winter is giving us a reminder that he hates us. Snow every night and sun in the day. My sis-in-law went off the road this morning...and so I sit waiting for her and have a moment to blog. Mixed blessing? Heh heh. She's okay, btw, but going off the road is freaky and basically makes you feel like a dumb-ass. LOL

One a completely strange and off the wall note...why are fingers hairy?

My Fav. Spud recipe...

2008-04-08T08:16:00.002-08:00

Crazy Hip Blog Mama's is outta dinner ideas and are desprately asking for recipes using potatoes. So, for everyone's taste buds delight, I give you....

"Food involving potatoes"
(everything is 'food', kids ask "What's for dinner?", I say FOOD)

3 T veg oil (i use safflower)
1 bag frozen diced potatoes with onions and peppers (potatoes o'brian)
1/2 tsp dried oregano or basil
1/2 tsp pepper
2 Cups (or a small bag) broccoli flowerets
1 pound smoked sausage, cut into bite-sized pieces
1-2 cups (to taste) Cheddar Cheese

~Heat oil in 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add potatoes, oregano and pepper. Cover and cook awhile, stirring so it doesn't burn, until potatoes are done. 8 to 10 minutes (If useing frozen broccoli add this too)

~Stir in broccoli (if fresh); add sausage. Cover and cook until sausage is hot (again, stir so it doesn't burn)

~Cover with cheese and heat until cheese is melty...just the way kids like it.

If you do the cheese just right, kids will barely notice that there's green stuff in it. Even makes husbands happy!

cook time: about 20 minutes
Makes 6 servings

It's not even 9 O'Clock!

2008-04-01T08:34:00.002-08:00

6:15 am...Captain beating up the alarm clock
7:00 am...waking unwakeable children
7:05 am...fighting with pre-teen 9 year old to eat
7:15 am....hair and make up
7:30 am....instructing children to hurry up and get ready
7:35 am....telling pre-teen 9 year old that she may not wear the same shirt two days in a row
7:45 am....Telling 9 year old that she MUST change her clothes
7:50 am....pondering working while on my pain killers.....decided agaisnt
8:00 am...Yelling at uber-slow 6 year old to find her stuff
8:05 am....remembering that I washed her coat, and that's why she's not ready
8:10 am....remembering that I need to make lunches
8:20 am....running out the door to stop pre-teen 9 year old from riding her brand new bike to the bus stop....where it most certainly will get stolen
8:25 am...taking dog out
8:30 am....washing the doggie doo off my shoe that I didn't see on the ground cause the darn dog was being a stupid-ass and freaking out
8:40 am....wishing I could go back to bed

To Wanda!

2008-03-20T16:33:00.002-08:00

Oh my! Three posts in one day! I'm going to jamb the blogosphere.

Right now, I'm sitting in a room that's torn up. I've removed all the things on the walls, and taken everything out of the bookcase, and moved said bookcase (found 50 cents too), and now it's down to moving the computer desk away from the wall.

I'm really debating just un-hooking the computer for a lil bit and re-enacting a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes on the desk. TO WANDA!!!! 'Course, then I don't have a clue what we'd put the computer on....but I seriously hate this desk.

Okay, okay...why is the "family room all torn up? Because after 10 months of having the stuff, I'm finally doing the Venitian plaster on the walls! I've got 2/3rds of it done, and I can't go any further due to the desk being in the way.

Right now it looks like I've let some kindergarteners with mud loose in the room. But I'm told that it will look awesome when totally finished. I'll post pics when I'm done! :)

In which I spend 15 minutes on the toilet

2008-03-20T10:29:00.003-08:00

No, not like that. Waiting for someone to bring me toilet paper. Oh but it's not as easy as that.

M.M. was using the giant bundle of T.P. as a seat. Shorty went to get it for me, and he proceeded to knock her down (spilling her popcorn-I don't know why she was holding it and getting me t.p. The fight that follows is nothing short of ear-splitting and was probably heard three roads over.

Topping their screaming, I can be heard from upstairs, saying I just need a little, please!

It seriously took 15 minutes to get some toilet paper.

Moral of the day...Check before you go........

Does Hannah Montana wear fast shoes?

2008-03-20T07:23:00.004-08:00

Wow, actually two consecutive posts!

Well, this is due to the fact that my sitter has the flu...so she cannot babysit and I cannot goto work. Loads of time on my hands, and lots more time spent with my brood to make funny posts. Also more time to clean and make up blog posts while doing so...

Monster Monkey said just a few moments ago. "Mama, when I was just a kid (holds up 4 fingers), I wasn't so fast." I agree and chuckle; when he was just a kid was only about a month ago. A month must feel like almost an eternity to a five year old.

And he is fast. If he gets more than a 3-second head-start on me I can't catch him. Whichs reminds me of our little outing last Sunday to the dreaded Shoe Store. This special store is famous for it's supposedly low prices, and there's probably one of these great places right in your neighborhood! They are everywhere.

We went, me and all four urchins...who were actually looking more like the angels I keep telling them they've tied up in the basement and replaced with themselves-more like demon-spawn. Unlike anything I could have dreamed I'd give birth to....

Um...where was I? Oh, shoe store! So we went, and we looked, and we tried on. I went looking solely (haha) for dress shoes for the girls, since wearing pretty church dresses and snow boots is just blah. Yeah, Mama, Hannah Montana wouldn't wear snow boots with this dress, I mean come on. We did find nice dress shoes for the girls, and although I told him NO even before we left the truck, M.M. found shoes.

Now, he doesn't pick out shoes by what's on them, nor by the price (yikes), but by how fast they are. He tried out a pair with Power Rangers on them...said they were super fast (and yes he RAN around the store wearing them). I vetoed the Power Rangers right off the bat. I told him to look again. He found Croc knock-offs. They weren't fast at all, and the right one flew off while running and almost hit the store lady in the rear....who then adimently asked me if I needed any assistance in finding what I wanted. I politely told her No, we are just trying out shoes. M.M. tried out some more shoes with the help of Bone Head, while the girls and I finished up finding dress shoes. THREE pairs for Princess Pout and one for Shorty. I then paid all attention to MM and his shoe quest.

I located a pair of fast-looking shoes that were sporting the "sale" sign (Only $12.99), and asked that he try them out. He didn't like them at first, until I reminded him that he didn't try them out. I told him to run around. He looked like I'd just handed him a $50 in a candy store and zoomed out of the isle. After a couple laps around the store he skidded back into the isle I was waiting in, and said "These are the fasterest shoes I've ever runned in!" SOLD!

Fast forward to yesterday, M.M. is getting ready for a quick trip to the store down the road, and he brings me one of his brand-new shoes. The stupid velcro strip on the top is ripped out of it's stitching! WHAT?!?!?!?!!? He'd tried to pull it tight and it just snapped.

I'm ticked. These shoes are going back today. I don't care if they are the fastest shoes ever made for a size 11 kids. I refuse to pay any ammount of money (okay maybe 25 cents) for shoes that fall apart after 4 days of minimal wear! ARUGH!

Difficult Procedures

2008-03-19T08:29:00.004-08:00

Do you know how difficult it can be to do anything in a normal and not totally strange fashion when you cannot fully use the hand that you regularly use?

After my trip to the doctor yesterday, I now have a wrist/hand brace that I must wear. This contraption keeps my wrist from moving. And as I said, this makes it difficult to do many things.

From typing this to dressing. Doing dishes (without getting it wet) and brushing my daughters' hair. Even bathroom procedures leave me a little perplexed, sitting on the "Great white round one", trying to figure out how to accomplish things left-handed.

My rationalism tells me that I will get used to the immobility with time. My other half is screaming at me to just rip the thing off and toss it in a deep, dark hole. And it hasn't even been 24 hours yet.

But does the hand/wrist feel any better with the impediments placed upon it? Um...wrist yes, slightly, hand no. I think it's taking even more effort to move fingers to compensate for the wrist not moving. Time will tell, I suppose. Meanwhile, I just may become ambidextrous by force.

****Warning for future posts****

My favorite time of year is rapidly making it's way here! In most other parts of the country this time of year is called Spring. Here we call it "Break Up"...cause the ice is breaking up. It's when all the lovely Springy things happen and it's when I start getting all mushy and poetic and garden-crazed. So look for (or watch out for) upcoming posts including me waxing poetic about green things and critter babies and updates on what is growing in my guest-room-turned garden starting room.

Blogger wish: Why don't we have underline and strike-out?
Blogger rant: I can't make the labels thing say JUST spring...it's inserting BREAK all on it's own. grrrrr

Don't forget the coffee in the dryer

2008-03-17T07:23:00.003-08:00

Hurray! Spring Break is over! I'll just do a quick happy dance here, feel free to join in.

I did not, nor did Captain, take Spring Break off of work. Captain could not as his boss did, and I did not because, well...because I didn't remember it was Spring Break until the Sunday before....when the kids informed me that they shouldn't have to goto bed at the normal time because they didn't have to goto school the next day. How's that for a run-on sentence? I should fix it....naw....don't think I will.

I'm sitting here, drinking blah regular creamer coffee cause i ran outta the good stuff. It sucks. My jeans are also still half wet. In the seams and waist. I do have time to redry them...I should or I'll freeze...okay they're back in the dryer.

Also ticked this a.m. cause when I pulled one of my fav tops out of the dyer (I forgot to throw clothes in dryer last night), it's missing its zipper! It's one of those cropped (shorter) hoody, mirco fleece things. I like it alot for work. Still looks great under the awful vest I have to wear, and keeps me warm(ish) while at my register right in front of the doors.

It's also St. Paddy's Day. No, I'm not Irish...not even a bit (that I know of), but I love this "holiday" anyways. Not really into the parades or parties or anything like that, but I think that's why I like it. You can celebrate this day without doing much. Or you can go all out. I used to make sure I was wearing green...this year I'm getting pinched cause I'm wearing pink. I once had a pair of really cute Shamrock earrings...they're lost...either grew legs or got lost in a move...or one of my sisters "borrowed" them. I think the latter is the most probable.

Do I think we'll get crazy Irish revelers in the store today? Hmm...50/50 chance. I'll bet we get at least one person that is all decked out for the Greenest day of the year. Probably will be an older lady, buying organic soy milk, bananas (cause how can you not at 75 cents a pound), some various Easter swag and $80 worth of vitamins.

Now I've got totally dry pants, a touch of green (the logo on my eww vest), and still drinking yuck coffee. Yup, it'll be an alright day...I hope!

Sunday...Funday...Shmunday

2008-03-02T09:41:00.003-09:00

Another Sunday and another day that's totally nuts. Although today is starting out a bit better than most. I actually woke up before my alarm clock (which Captain so thoughtfully set for me), and there was already coffee made. The children have been nice to eachother (if a bit loud), and I only had one set-back so far....forgetting to put the clothes in the dryer the night before, I'm now running a few items so that Shorty can have clean pants to wear to church....

I even did my nails! Which is a good thing, NOT Martha-style, cause they were looking ratty. While not salon perfection, at least there's no weird edges anymore (a hazzard of work), and the polish is all there once again.

We need to be out of the house no later than 20 minutes from now. Because I didn't go anywhere yesterday, and did not get gas before actually having to be somewhere...I now have to leave to somewhere early to get gas. And since I'll have all four moochers on-board for the gas trip, I'll have to leave extra early to argue with the kids and get them all back into the truck after I cave and purchase something for them.

We'll be leaving the house (hopefully) at 10:05 to make it to church by 11:00, and it's only about 15 minutes away.

And as my children are at various stages of readiness, I'm here at the computer. Dressed, pressed, ironed and painted...

Princess Pout has yet to brush her hair, although I told her to do so 10 minutes ago and I did see her with brush in hand....Shorty is still waiting on her pants....Monkey is 1/2 dressed-he's cowboyed up today...including bright red long underware-cowboy style like in Lonesome Dove. Bone Head is probably dressed, although I don't know if he actually changed his clothes...I should go check. AH HA! He is dressed, and to the nines! Dress pants, button-down shirt and suit top. Spiffy.

Me, other than spending too much time on my hair and makeup, I'm just wearing jeans and a nice-ish top. I'll probably be working in the nursary today, and refuse to subject my really nice clothes to drool, spit-up and all the other hazzards of playing with and careing for babies.

As for the rest of my day...we'll arrive home from church and stuff our faces, I'll start dinner (potato soup tonight), do some more cleaning and laundry (maybe I'll remember to DRY the clothes) and then it'll be BACK to church for Truth Project and more baby watching for me.

I sorta miss the old days when Sunday was a day of rest....

TV Dinners

2008-02-01T19:44:00.000-09:00

Today is the first of the month. Have you ever gone grocery shopping on the first of the month? Well stop it! Your cashier hates you.

Okay, okay...not hate; but most definately not love. Not even like. Maybe tollerate. If you get under $200 worth, it's tollerance. Over that, it just might be hate. Just a warning.

My kids are running amock again. I think one of them has eaten their dinner...he did ask for more. And I just gave them all their dessert. Frozen strawberry ice cream something. Don't ask me, it's frozen and says it's strawberry. Came in individual cups...I'm not sure what it is.

I've decided for the maybe 1 millionth time that Captain Morgan is my best friend ever.

MY Captain is working tonight. Allllll night. I'm a single mom until sometime tomorrow when he's ready to wake up. Makes for a fun morning/early afternoon of keeping the children quiet while Captain sleeps.

Monster Monkey was riding his skateboard (yes in the house) during dinner. While the others were eating on the floor in front of the TV. While I was on here catching up on my favorite blogs. Yeah, I didn't care much. Told them to eat at the table. He's just got the hang of going straight on the darn thing without falling. Props to the Monkey! That's better than me.

Shorty has the hiccups, and I don't care. I've got the #1 bestest cure of hiccups, though. If you can lift the person....lift them up upside down and shake them. If they laugh, they are cured of the hiccups...if you can't lift the person, you're on you're own...and if they don't laugh when shaken upside down, you're on your own. I guess crying while upside down would work too....

I really don't feel like writing anymore. So I'll leave you with this thought.

I let my kids run amock, but they still aren't allowed to watch Sponge Bob. Which, I think, is the downfall of all Americans in this century, both children and adults. They aren't allowed to watch a whole lot of other things, either. All of which I think should be taken off the airways all together, not just saved to "adult viewing". There's just too much crap on TV these days to be truely helpfull as a babysitter anymore. Damnitall!

2008-01-17T12:19:00.000-09:00

What do you think about while you're cleaning? I think blog posts. Yup, I compose blog posts while I clean. Mostly it's about what I'm doing, what I find, and what I find disgusting. Call it a mental play-by-play, or a voice over in one of those weird documentaries.

The mom is then overjoyed after almost breaking her back moving the couch to clean under it. The agony of the shove and the thoughts of disapearing sanity are whisked away by the discovery of the long-lost (enter item(s) here

This inner blog is usually what keeps me going, as well. I tell myself, "Keep it up, just finish this room and you can go post all this neat-o stuff you're thinking". Most of this mental blogging never makes it to the keyboard, and what does often doesn't get past the edit stage, and what does make it far enough to be posted...well it's just much better when it's in my head.

Something must get lost between the point where I think it and the point when I allow myself to sit and type. Probably got swept up and tossed in the trash with a bunch of other things that I probably shouldn't have thrown away, but didn't care about at the moment. Like the perfectly good pencil I didn't see hiding under a piece of paper until it was in the trash. I didn't fish it out.
It'll soon be on it's way to a trash-heap grave yard to someday be decomposed into dirt. In essence, it's dead. So it goes. (and if you know what book that came from, you win 10 big smacks on the back).

While I was being a lazy slacker this morning, catching up on blogs I've missed...while M.M. watched Dukes of Hazzard on DVD, I found out that one of the blogging mom's whose blog I *heart* is 29 years old just like me! The only difference is that she has seven kids, and I have four (okay there's more differences, but hey...if you didn't know that, there's more wrong with you than not being bored enough desprately click off my page (which is a dig on ME, not you, silly))

I lost my point. OH! She's really cool, kooky, has losta kids and is 29. I got 1/2 of a losta kids and I'm 29. Hahahaaa. Okay sounded better in my head....

I seriously could go on for like pages, but I think that's just a by-product of not having anyone adult to talk to today. I'm seriously thinking of calling the operator just to talk to someone who doesn't call me "Mama".....

Cleaning party

2008-01-05T11:20:00.000-09:00

Rather than bore you with tales of what has happened in the space of time that I've apparently fallen off the blogoshere (holidays--were good!), I'll just bore you with tales of today's happenings.

I set the kids on chores. We're trying it differently, and it's working well for the most part. I put slips of paper with chores on them in a bowl, and each kid draws out a slip of paper and then does the chore. It's having amazing success! Except for MM, who did 2 chores, then refused to do any more. That's okay I still have 3/4 of my slaves...errr I mean children....working at full speed.

While they started this new chore/cleaning/cheap labor endevour, I decided to clean off my desk. I plead temporary insanity. Cleaning off my desk doesn't just mean clearing a working area on the top. It also means pulling things out of the cubbies and tossing, filing, or putting away everything that has accumulated.

But about an hour later, I'm done (except for dusting it off and polishing it) and I found some amuzing items. First, right on the top of my desk....a piece of dog food. I have no clue how long it's been there, nor how it got there, but it's now back in the dog's dish (hey nothing waisted here).

The second item isn't so strange, except if you consider that it's January and I have cleaned off my desk at least (at most?) once since summer.....a dried up dandilion.

Also in the dark caves of said cubbies, I found 1/2 of a dollar bill. Not a hint of an idea on that one. No signs of the other half.

The most amuzing thing (IMO). I found a panty liner! No not used, you're gross! I remember when MM brought it to me, asking what it was. And I took it away and tossed it in my desk. Hahahaa, memories....guess you had to be there.

After I polish my desk, I just might attack the bookshelf. No telling what I'll find there!

The pile of junk on the other side of the desk is haunting me. I might just unfold one of the table clothes on that pile and drape it prettily over the mess.

As for the kids...they are well through the bowl of "to do" chores! And the house is rapidly getting cleaner. I like this! No need to tell them what to do, and they aren't getting burned out by doing 'their' chores. Although the thought of Shorty trying to take out the trash makes me chuckle. And the look on Bone Head's face when he drew "bathroom trash" almost made me fall off my chair laughing.

They don't know it, but I've a half gallon of yummy ice cream waiting them when they are finished. I think such great effort deserves a reward! Don't you? I mean, the whole house (minus bedrooms) is getting cleaned! Even the pets fed and the dog brushed! And all I did was write some things down! Seriously...we started about an hour and half ago, and there's only THREE chores left to do!

Oh and the desk...the horrible desk. I might have nightmares....seriously....then again maybe not cause of the nice, clean family areas that I now have!

Okay, okay. The reason that we're doing all this cleaning today, and it's so bad...I got a job cashiering at a local whare-house type store. It's a pretty good job, the people I work with are really cool. But, working leaves me so pooped at the end of the day that I can barely get myself home, let alone make dinner, spend time with kids and hubby AND clean house.

*Tales from the kids*

MM found out today that the first 3 letters of his name spells BRA. Everyone had a good laugh on that one. And I must say that I am QUITE proud of my almost 5 year old! He can recognize and WRITE the first three letters of his name and recogizes when the rest of his name isn't right. I'm such a proud mama!

School startes back up on Monday! Shall we all jump up and do the "Go Back to School" dance? I'm gunna!

Just enough energy to....

2007-12-13T20:32:00.000-09:00

post these thingies....cause I wanna, and cause I seriously only have enough in me tonight to post these, instead of thinking of something to actually write....*I started a new job on Tuesday-cashier at a local small-time (actually they are big) wharehouse store.

and so...stolen from Seven Seeds (whom I just found and love)

Thursday Thirteen: Thoughts On Babies
1. Babies have to have the most wonderful smell on the face of the earth. Even poopy, pukey, milky and everything else. Their smell is just the best.

2. Babies are wonderful things to have for a while and GIVE BACK!

3. I think a baby's first laugh is what angels sound like.

4. As much as I do NOT want another baby, I still get teary sometimes at the thought that I won't.

5. I sometimes have gas (duh we all do), and that always makes me think of the first flutterings of baby kicks.

6. Sometimes I pray that my husband will someday agree to adopting a baby.

7. I'm about to have 2 new babies to cuddle, and can't wait! (both s-i-l are preggers)

8. I miss reading all the books and articles about being pregnant and having a baby.

9. I have only finished about 1/3 of my first child's baby book. Child #2 has one, that is empty and the other two don't even have books at all.

10. I'd like to be able to say something totally snarky when people ask me "oh wow, are they all yours?" (someday I WILL)

11. I don't miss waking up at all hours of the night, but I miss sleeping with my babies close to me.

12. My youngest is almost 5. He's the child I didn't want (yet), and I cried when I found out I was going to have him. But I wouldn't change things now for all the money in the world. He's my baby, my little man and I love him!!!

13. If it were possible for us to afford 10 kids, I probably would have had more.

AND....stolen, totaly stolen and shamelessly, from Poppy

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I remember the hours my parents spent putting lights on our real trees, and I don't think it was exactly enjoyable for them. So we got a fake one. But it's got pine tree car smelly things on it! :)

3. When do you put up the tree?This is a source of major contention in my house. I do NOT like my tree up until at the most 3 days before the big day. But hubby and the kids just cannot wait that long! We set it up last weekend. UGH

4. When do you take the tree down? December 30th and NO later!!

5. Do you like eggnog? GOT RUM?? Sure!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I really don't know. I guess it would have been the jewelry box. The one that my son just broke a couple of months ago. The one I had for about 20 years...

7. Do you have a creche? Okay, no clue what that is...so I guess not.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My hubby.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Any of my kids. As long as I can find what I'm thinking about.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Ugh Neither!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas! Family tradition!!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? haven't started yet this year...no clue!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope. Things that have done their time in the house get sent to the thrift store...as the previously metioned items did.....

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Orange Juice! Mixed with either champene or vodka...oh and we always have delish cinimon rolls too.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?Clear.

17. Favorite Christmas song? um....It's begining to look a lot like Christmas?

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Stay home. I'm so not up to battleing the hordes on Christmas!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? LOL yeah!!! Got kids, will sing

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star, but Captain had been saying "we'll put our angel on top of the tree", don't know if that's a hint. I like our star, it plugs in!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We're allowed to open ONE present on Christmas Eve, which is always the ornament that Grandparents sent (to the kids). Christmas Morning, we eat our OJ (and alcohol) and rolls then open stockings. Then wait a bit for the anticipation to build then open presents.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The stupid toy commericals! UGH! If I hear "I want that" one more time....

23. What I love most about Christmas? When it works out right to have a QUIET snowy walk after opening presents. If it's snowing all the better!

Okay that's it, and that's really much more than I thought it would be. Gosh, I had to THINK! And I'm sure I could have come up with better answers if I wasn't so drunk*...errr I mean tired!

*I'm not DRUNK! I've only had 2 rum & cokes! lol

Thrifty Christmas

2007-12-06T08:30:00.000-09:00

My house will be full of crabby kids today. 3/4 of said crabs are in the begining stages of the stomache yuck that I'm just now getting over. Yes I've been sick all this time I've been writing and feeding horses and all that. Feeling much better today, just in time to take care of sickies. Yippeee

Yesterday's trip to pay bills turned out wonderfully!

Despite my stupid moments including, but not limited to: Feed store guy saying I was waddleing. Same feed store guy also asked stupid me "what can I get ya" to which I replied. "I need food" to which he laughed and said...."well we've got candy there, and some juice and soda and some yogurt". Yeah, um horse food, I normally goto the feed store for my groceries. Yeah thanks, it's just me, the waddleing lady who can't keep her places of consumerism straight.
He is a very nice guy, though (the feed store guy), even if he always make me smell something when I'm there. Yesterday it was yummy rose scented goat milk soap.

OH! But the wonderfullness! Monster Monkey was heartbroken after dropping the give-aways off at the thrift store. I mean, the whole nine yards, head hanging, tears just dropping like a storm, the old heartbroken cry. I caved. We went into the thrift store to look for a little replacement toy, to make him feel better.

So, we stood, we looked, we played. I waited and waited and waited. I told him which toy I'd get if I was him. I waited some more. I spied baby toys! **My sister-in-law is expecting! She's due in July, and I'm as excited as a little girl riding her first pony! I get to have a baby and give it back! Words cannot begin to convey my giddiness!** I scooped up all the toys that I really liked. Put a couple back, picked up a few more....ended up spending a whopping $1.75 on these....

As MM kept looking and trying to decide on which toy was the "coolest", my eye caught on something quite close. I tried to stay away, I tried my hardest, I promise!
I kept telling myself that we were only here to get something small for MM, and I'd already gone off that to get the baby toys.
But they were calling me. They were sceaming, I tell ya!

And so...

I came home with this! The sled is all metal and I fell in love with it the instant I saw it! It's about 2 feet tall. I'm not sure where I'm going to put it yet. I never know where I'm going to put anything. Not even things that I already have had up in the past. It's never the same two years in a row. BUT! I think it'd be adorable either in the bathroom, or near my door.

This wall hanging thingy is just wonderful! The snowmen are 3D! Again, NO clue where this is going. I'll either have to take something down, or put up more nails.

About this time the workers of the place came into the area with a large shopping cart and started putting MORE stuff out on the shelves and hangers.

The hordes flocked like sea gulls on a discarded salmon. They came out of the wood-work!

But I was in there, I saw, I grabbed...yes even out of the cart! LOL I asked first!

The ladies didn't have to "stock" half of the things in the cart, they were almost all snapped up by Christmas decoration hungry people like myself.

The snowman is a candle! The hat comes off and the candle is inside. It's never been lit...and I don't think it will be. Mr. Snowman looks a little freaky without the top of his head.

I got a few other really neat-o items but blogger hates me today and I can't upload anything else.

But trust me, they are neat!

I'm waiting a bit and seeing iff SIL wants to come with me back to the thrift store today. I want more!! I think this wonderful find is starting to break the ice, and my grinch-like heart is starting to thaw!

Maybe I'll allow Captain and the kids put up the tree this weekend....

OH! All this stuff, plus a Monopoly Jr game and MM's new toy car came to a grand total of $8.75. This was a garbage bag FULL! I'm going back!

Gone with the Wii-nd

2007-12-05T09:19:00.000-09:00

The wind is GONE! *Does happy dance*

Captain told me this last night-travel back with me to the morning of the doggie doo....

Captain "There's a big mess in there, could you clean it up?"

Bone Head walks into family room....."WHO let the horses in?"

I fell on the bed laughing when I heard about this! I then had to explain why it was so funny to me....that I'd blogged about horse poop in the very same room....he ended up nearly falling OFF the bed, laughing. Yes we are easily amuzed.

Last night also brought the conclusion of Sci Fi's Tin Man and a huge let-down. I hate when movies spend so much time working it all up and then the ending is just--blah. It was a good show all-in-all, but I think they rushed the ending to fit it all in *only* three 2-hour episodes. Anyways....

This is what I want for Christmas. Erm...I mean this is what I want to get my children for Christmas. Yeah, that's it. But can we? No sir, we cannot. At least not yet! I'm not ready to give up hope, when Christmas is still 20 days away!

I did a massive search of all stores in the area on Sunday. No luck and very little customer service. It's not even available online. No one has a clue as to when a new shipment will come in.

And so, I wait for the email in my in-box saying that it's available, and hope and pray. Cause if we can't get this, I have NO CLUE what we're getting the kids for Christmas....oh so sad!!!

I figured it up as there's about 20 stores in the area that might sell this item. If each store gets 100 units, that's 2000 units total. In an area that has 200,000 + people. Yeah...that's gunna work.

I really didn't think that it would be that hard to find one. They have been out for a while, right? The rush has (or should have) passed by now, and now it should just be people like me who have finally talked their S.O. into it. (Oh and that took one of his friends getting one(no clue how), and him playing it before he agreed)

Okay, okay I'm sure there are some places out there in cyber-land that still have this in stock...I haven't checked EVERYWHERE! Mostly because I don't have a credit card to everywhere! Just a few places. And no, I don't have a bank card thingy that works as a credit card online. Yeah, I'm living in the Dark Ages, and no it's not an Alaska thing-it's a me thing.

Today is "pay the bills" day, so I get to run around to all the various places and do just that. Oh and drop off the trunk-load of old clothes and toys I have so that I can pick up a little hay. Cause of course, the hay guy hasn't called us back yet, and the trailer we borrow is already borrowed....soooooo

Yeah, this is just fun.

Because I wanna....

2007-12-04T10:31:00.000-09:00

Because I wanna just sit here rather than doing the long list of things that I should be doing, cause I actually sorta like these things.....and cause I found (erm clicked into, through another) a cool blog. Thanks to Blackbird

What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? tag body stuff for men, dove shower stuff for me, baby magic all-in-one stuff for kids
Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? nope
What would you change about your living room? new color walls, new arrangement for couch, new couch, new tv, new curtains, move fishtank-yeah i don't like the living room
Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? clean
What is in your fridge? food!
White or wheat bread? wheat
What is on top of your refrigerator? change jar, my platters and far holding my dusters
What color or design is on your shower curtain? mine's white with tulips, kids' has fish
How many plants are in your home? a few...only three are mine, other 3 are m-i-l's
Is your bed made right now? nope!
Comet or Soft Scrub? soft scrub
Is your closet organized? not at the moment
Can you describe your flashlight? dont' have one
Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home? glass
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? nope
If you have a garage, is it cluttered? yeah, 2+ car garage and can't even fit one in there
Curtains or blinds? both!
How many pillows do you sleep with? just one
Do you sleep with any lights on at night? nightlights in hallways, fishtank light on in dining room
How often do you vacuum? ugh every day
Standard toothbrush or electric? standard
What color is your toothbrush? pink, purple, clear and white
Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch? not in the winter
What is in your oven right now? notta
Is there anything under your bed? storage bins for clothes out of season-summer now
Chore you hate doing the most? laundry
What retro items are in your home? nothing, I don't like retro
Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? sorta, the computer is in the family room
How many mirrors are in your home? three
What color are your walls? living room-yellow, dining room-blue, kitchen-blue, bathroom-blue, kids bathroom-green, guest room-cream and brown, hallways-sage green Everything else is white....so far
Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home? yeah captain has some, locked up and hidden
What does your home smell like right now? i smell coffee and ferrets
Favorite candle scent? honeydew from party light
What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now? none
What color is your favorite Bible? blue
Ever been on your roof? nope
Do you own a stereo? nope
How many TVs do you have? one
How many house phones? two
Do you have a housekeeper? just me
What style do you decorate in? alaskan ranch
Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?Solid.
Is there a smoke detector in your home? several!
In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip? kids, photos, lockbox

Well, wasn't that fun?

2007-12-04T10:18:00.000-09:00

I survived going outside! Didn't even freeze too badly...aparently this whole thing about getting real clothes on is a good idea...

It's now fully light out, but the light is sorta a peach color. It's cloudy, it's not the sun making it's morning apearance...which happens often at sunrise. I love that.

Right now it's just freaky. It reminds me of the one time when we were in Georgia and the tornados came. The color that's just not right for what the clouds and sun are doing.

Trying to avoid either sitting in the crawl space or bath tub. There's no tornados here...no tornados.....

Cherry Chocolate Wind

2007-12-04T08:40:00.000-09:00

I hate starting things out with weather, but the weather is the biggest news right now. It's freezing! The horrible wind is still here, 20-30 mph but today it feels like -11 out there.

I drove the kids to the bus stop. It's only .10 of a mile there, and it's only 5 feet from my door to the car doors. We froze! Warming up now, since I have cuppa java #2 in my hand-er on my desk. But! The weather report says snow...and warming up. Although not less wind. It's so bad, if a gust hits you in the face, it literally takes your breath away. You don't want to get caught in a long gust, it's bad. And bad enough that it's hard to turn away once you do get hit. Oh and you get hit.

Last year for about 2 weeks, the wind was so bad that it pushed my greenhouse off it's foundation. Pulled the nails and screws right out and pushed it about 2 feet. It also tore off the shed doors, and the stable's shed door. I hope that it doesn't get that bad this year!

Another wonderful by-product of this wind and cold. We woke up to several piles of doggie doo-doo in the family room. I thought I was doing Cody, our pound puppy black lab/shar pei mix, a favor when I didn't let him out one last time before going to bed. Turns out I did myself a DISfavor. Oh well...Bone Head cleaned it up for me! Boys are wonderful!

This picture is not great (Captain took it through the window last spring), but it's cute!

We watched episode #2 of Sci Fi channel's mini series Tin Man last night, and I must say that it's getting better. Although poor Zooey really can't act! I don't know if her acting style is what the directors are going for when they cast her, or she's got some connections...but it's almost painfull to see a pretty good movie with other good actors and then there's her. But, dispite the actors, we will be tuning in again tonight to see more.

Monster Monkey is on another dress-up phase, this time it's "Army Guy". Last one was Superman and before that was a ninja. So now he's dressed daily in mis-matched cammo, and his spiderman snowboots.

He carries his backpack loaded with all the things a 4 year old commando might need (even a much-smooshed PB&J), and carries his Avatar glider stick thingy as his gun.

It's too cute to say, so here's a picture of him...before he found cammo pants too!

He says he wants to join the Army when he's big. I say wow that's great. I know that in a day, week, month or year he'll change his mind and want to be something else.

Come Spring, I'm guessing he'll be Mr. Dare devil again.

One addition I wanted to make to I am...I am not. I am not a decorator, but I love to paint and remodel. We just finished (by we I mean Captain helped for about an hour and then I finished) painting our main bathroom. It's toothpaste blue-I mean SKY blue. Captain is now sketching out what he plans to paint on the walls. Pretty much Arizona. We both grew up there, and we love the colors. It will be a mostly desert scene. He's a wonderful artist (something else I wish I was), and I know it'll be great once he gets TO IT. But for now, I smell toothpaste everytime I walk into the room. Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but my brain sees it and I smell it. Same thing happened when I painted the guest room a wonderful chocolate brown. I smelled chocolate!

Who knows what I'll smell when I plaster the walls in the family room. It's sorta an orange, so maybe pumpkin pie? I'll be sure to report!

Going out to brave the wind now. I must feed the horses, and I really want to do a quick run around the house to make sure there's nothing damaged and nothing else that I missed in my winter prep. I do know there's a wind chime I missed, I hear it...but I'm not sure where it is. At least I'll be able to follow the sound!

If no post later today or tomorrow, I've surely turned into a ME ice-cube. Hopefully a gallon of coffee can thaw me out!

Sorry once again to the neighbors. I think today I'll get totally dressed before I head out.

I am...I am not

2007-12-03T08:46:00.001-09:00

I survived November! Now here comes December and all it's wonderfulness...

Yeah, I'm not the gal you'll find in the kitchen baking delectible holiday treats. I'm not the gal you'll find spending hours in the craft room, making the perfect hand-made gift for every extended family member. I'm not even the gal you'll find putting out a trillion holiday trinket decorations.

Nope, I make a few treats..."Puppy Chow" is the only thing I must make every year. It's the Chex chocolate recipe...check the side of a chex box! I'm also not the type to share recipes.

Nope, IF I find a crafty thing that I think I can actually complete, and have a person that will LOVE it, I will do it. But mostly, I'm the gal who goes to the craft fairs and buys other people's hard work. My hands thank me for that.

Nope, I have a few boxes of decorations. Most of them for the tree, itself. I do have zillions of lights...but those aren't my fault. They were left in the garage by the previous owner, and hey, why not use them?

BUT! It's already December, and if you didn't know...it's freaking freezing here in the Last Frontier. The outside lights weren't put up when it was still somewhat warm, so unless we get a warm-up there won't be any outside lights. Sorry folks, ya wanna come do it for me?

So you're thinking, "This girl's not Martha, who is she?" What? You're not thinking that? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

I believe myself to be a moderatly great amature photographer. I didn't pay for the kids' school pictures this year (I'd need to take out a loan for four kids). I'm going to take them myself with my wonderful 35mm!

I am a struggling homemaker, who has the task of doing dishes and making dinner down, but cannot find the right schedule for doing the loads of laundry this family produces.

I am the crazy lady on the road who will take out the trash or dog or feed the horses in my pajamas. There have been many neighbors who get to see my PJ bottoms in the morning. I like to think that the people just down with the little red car prefers the white ones with the green and blue paint splash-like spots. *

I am also the crazy mom who will walk out the door and shout for her kids. Others on the road have bells, whistles or gosh the telephone to wrangle their scattered children. I yell. I like to pretend I'm calling pigs in for their slops.

I suggested to Captain (my wonderful hubby) last night that if we could train the horses to enter doors, we could bring them in the house on nights like last night. ** It was all a wonderful idea until he pointed out that while the manure would be no problem, the urine would. Hmmmm...the tiled floor is looking better and better! Until then, I guess they'll have to be happy enough outside.

The weather...I guess all great conversations either start with, or end up with the weather. At least they do in my world. So, what's the weather, besides freaking freezing? Well, folks, its a balmy 14 degrees out there, with wind out of NNE at 26 mph, with gusts WAY more than that. That all totals a wind-chill factor of -5 and lower. (wind chill is the wind blowing and makes the actually temp FEEL colder). While this is not even close all that Jack Frost can throw at us, it is the coldest it's been so far this winter, and we're not liking it at all!

And so, to combat the little trips that I must make outside to do various chores and things, I make a giant pot of coffee and drink it. Thus ending up jittering all over the house getting some done, but mostly just trying to remember what it is that I'm trying to do.

With that, it's light out enough now to feed the horses, so here I go...I'm sorry neighbors with the red car, my PJ's today are the blue ones, not your favs. ***

* I've never actually MET these neighbors. We've lived here over a year, and I haven't even said hello to them. Course, they haven't said hello to me, either.

**The horses HATE the wind, mostly because it deadens their ability to hear what's going on around them, not because it's cold. They do have a stable, which is always open and available to them, but they will only go in it if it's raining!

*** The thought does cross my mind, that maybe if I actually get dressed before doing outside chores, I wouldn't have to drink so much coffee to stay warm. Hmmmm...but then what would the neighbors gossip about?

Ugh, Flies!

2007-09-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have a rather serious issue. We have about a zillion flies in the house. They are begining to swarm.

Captain said it was because I was keeping the horses's grain in the family room/office/junk room. He moved the grain to the garage (where now the mice can get it), and we still have flies.

Why do we have flies? Because it's cold outside and warm in here. We open the windows in the family room to smoke when it's a nasty day (don't yell at me, door to the rest of the house is shut and children are not allowed in the room!). Flies come in those windows. And they come in the doors, because having 4 children and currently 3 adults living in the house...the doors open ALOT.

I don't blame the flies. I would search for some warm place too. But they must go! One decided to share my coffee with me this morning. And there's at least 4 very drunk flies around here somewhere. Left a bit of vodka & mt dew sitting out in a cup last night, hoping to KILL the darn things. When I got up, there were 4 in there, but oh so not dead....really slow though! *evil laugh*

I can't swat these darn things. They don't land. They just fly around and around in the middle of the room. Sometimes sending out scouts to the out-lieing areas to search for food, and the occasional cup of coffee or vodka.

And so, it's all-out war at my house! Coming soon to a corner near me...fly strips, fly bait, fly killer ala mode. If it claims to get rid of flies, I'm getting it! But I gotta get paid first....until then I'll cover my coffee cup and vodka (or whatever), and walk the edge of the room....not through the middle were the evil masses of flying demon-spawn have taken up residence. Yeah.

two more days, two more days, little flies...just wait.

It's Raining Hay

2007-09-26T12:04:00.000-08:00

I just spent too much money on 4 bales of hay. Grrr...I hate square bales. Overall, the cost to pound ratio is much better for a "round" bale of hay. Say 800-1200 pounds is $80 to $100. Which if we use the 1200/100 breaks down to about $1.20 a pound. Square bales are 50 pounds and cost $14 so that means $3.50 a pound. Hmmmm something isn't right here.

But I couldn't get a large bale today...I could only afford a few squares until we get paid. Joy! Oh and I got to load them up in the Yukon. Even more fun, now I get to vacuum it all out.

oh and a ps...I would have had enough hay to last out the time, but some of it went bad, due to the rain. The awful rain.....I really need to get the lean-to built to put the hay in.

Anywho...we're selling our Quarter Horse...so if anyone out there wants a 13 hands, reddish-brown B*, let me know. She needs a seriously experianced trainer with time and is up for a challenge. This person should also be fearless cause she likes to kick for no reason, and you can't touch her feet with a ten-foot pole. I must admit that we thought we were up for the challenge, but oh so not. So...she's up for sale....I'll take $400 for her, and that's just pathetic.

Actually, I'd really like to find her a good home where the people have tons of time and experiance to try to train her. She's a horse's horse and pretty much has no respect for people. Which is sad.

Monkey is running around the house and outside without a shirt on. He's gotta be freezing. Silly kid.

In public embaressing mom moment: At local mexican restaurant, ordered a stawberry daquari....oh so yummy! Monkey wants to taste cause there's a lot of whipped cream on the top. I say, "No kiddo, you can't taste it, it's alcohol." (I've taught my children about alcohol, by name, they know they can't have it). He replies, "But Daddy gives me alcohol!" Quite loudly.
My husband, Captian, doesn't give our children alcohol, just so you know! My wonderful little son was just trying his darnedest to get some of that yummy-looking pink stuff.

Which reminds me of when Bone Head was about a year old. I took him out to McD's and he was impatient for his soda. He started yelling "beer, beer, beer"....which is what he was currently calling anything good to drink. I gotta lot of strange looks for that one. I think, because of us drinking beer, and the fact that he couldn't have any, made it work out in his head that it must be super-yummy.

I don't know what goes on in the minds of kids...but if anyone truely ever figures it out, they are going to be quite popular.

And so, I leave you with this parting thought.....Autumn isn't nearly as fun when the leaves that have fallen don't crunch when you step on them. Darn rain...........

Flip a dime

2007-09-25T09:39:00.000-08:00

I am thinking about joining Payperpost...although...I've tryed some paid-for-writing things before, and do great for a while, then loose it. Epinions was great...but they changed the payment foundations, and you odn't get as much unless huge ammounts of people goto your opinion. But I guess if I wrote alot of opinions that would work out.

Thing is...I really sorta don't want to go back to work. I quit my job for now...not that it was a great one...actually it really bit the big one. Standing for hours on end wonderfully contributed to the vericose veins in my legs to multiply. I need a job that I can sit for and get paid...oh lets shoot for $20 an hour. Yeah...In my dreams, right?

But I could do it. That's just what's so frustrating! If I applied myself, actually wrote the darn things, and kept up with it, I could probably pull in just as much (or more) as I was working the liquor store. And I must say that idea has real appeal...very, very tempting.

Okay, okay, I've talked myself into it. I'll at least give it a shot, and see where I go from there. So...wait for it.....look for a future post being sponsered. *grin*

Edit: okay...sometime in the future post...I've gotta do more on this blog before I'm eligable. I suppose that would also count checking (caring) about my spelling, in addition to actually writing! All good. I can hear the cha-ching already ;)

So....immediatly future post....re-evaluating the orriginal content and purpose and oh...everything I'd orriginally setup this blog to do (and not do).

2007-07-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

Today's post was going to be about strange people I come in contact with at the ol' convience store that I work at. It's not about strange people anymore. I started writing, got a bunch of crap on the "page", and then stopped. In one swoop of right clicking mouse hand, it's all gone. I, in my fit of nicotine-withdrawl, decided it was all crap and I hated the internet, my post and the horses they rode in on. Burried the post, shot the horses, and I've got the internet tied up in my basement. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet...probably subject it to thousands of porn pop-ups until it confesses that it really could go faster if it wanted to.

Somewhere in the middle of that delusional tirade, there's a bit of truth. What is it? I'm going fucking nuts.

I'm at 24 +19 hours of not smoking. My children see me coming and run for the safety of their (now clean) rooms. And I could probably find something totally un-flattering to say about 90% of the people who came into the store last night. Including the people that I actually like.

If you've never quit smoking...you'll never understand. If you have....I'll just say that I'm at the point where I could chew iron pegs right now...and that's just after having lunch. I just hope no one ticks me off, because I'll not be held responsible for my actions. My lungs are also in revolt. They apparently don't know what to do with all the clean air that is coming in, so they are making me cough a whole lot. Tons of fun that one is.

I've got to goto the grocery store now. Watch your local news tonight...there may be a report of crazed cigaratte quitter doing something totally justafied at the local grocery....or not.

The old hitchin post

2007-07-18T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here, going through some of my favorite blogs, among those are http://crummychurchsigns.blogspot.com/ and http://underpaidkeptwoman.blogspot.com/ and http://mattresspolice.com
.....when...

Shorty and Monster Monkey come into the room, they are playing cars. Not the movie, but crawling around on the floor with matchbox cars, and they are not only making them roll, they are making them talk. Too cute, right? I glance down adoringly, but say nothing because that will distract them and make them bug me...I'm still on cuppo coffee #1, don't bug me yet!

Anywho, they're playing and I'm reading and laughing when I hear.....(wait for it)

Dum Dum De Dum....Dum Dum De Dum...Dum Dum De Dum Dum...Dum Dum De Dum

I can't keep quiet in my corner at this one. I turn and say, "Are your cars getting married?" Shorty looks up and say "Yes Mama, they have to!" hmm... "They have to? Why?" At which point, Shorty rolls her eyes at me and informs me, "Because they love each other!"

Ohhh! Well that makes sence. Then I get more of the exciting and romantic coutship of these two cars. Apparently, the boy car was walking one day and wolf whistled at the girl car. That was the start of a wonderful, whorlwind of a time...totaling, oh about 5 minutes of dancing, sight-seeing and *shhh* kissing. And then they upped and decided to marry.

The "cars" are now eating their breakfast, but I predict that they will soon form a crime fighting duo, with I love you's thrown inbetween all the action of bad-guy butt-kicking. I also predict that the relationship will last about 45 minutes, at which point, the cars will forcefully throw themselves at one-another in attempt to kill eachother, and the children will both come screaming to me with the words "she did/he did" on their lips.

Bone Head is watching cartoons. My children (esp him) watch too much TV. My "good mom" is coming out and I plan on kicking him out in the *gasp* sunshine after this episode is over. Princess Pout is also on the couch, and yep, she's pouting. She's still sore after yesterday's episode of me telling her she could not do her chores.

Picture this: Yesterday, around 2 pm, bright and sunny day, after all morning and early afternoon of allowing the monsters-erm I mean adorable munchkins-to play outside and at friends' houses, I call them in for chore time. I line everyone out with the assigned chores of the day and set them to it. Smiling faces all around, and smilie faces on the chore chart. Until...Monster Monkey is already done with his chores, so he wantes to help Princess Pout move the chairs so that she can sweep the floor under the table. All heck breaks loose. P.P. screams at him, and pushes him across the room. "I want to do my chores!" Mom (me) comes running to see what's going on. I explain to P.P that MM is only trying to help, and she's having none of it. After ushering MM on to another chore, PP keeps up the asault on everyone's ears. At that point, I'm just done. I take the broom away from her and send her to her room. All the while, she's yelling "I want to do my chores!"

Now isn't that a different one?

We'll be starting chore time earlier today, and I can't wait to see what happens today!

Note: Figure out some way to explain why two girl horses aren't going to magically have a baby, just because there are two horses.

Day One

2007-07-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

Warning: If you are allergic to stories about children, chores, cleaning, poop and other bodily functions, animals, and daily life; do not continue reading this blog. Please consult your doctor before begining any blogrolling activities and do not continue unless you are prepared to possibly laugh, maybe groan and definatly hear about life of a mother. The FDA has not okayed this blog, nor will it ever. The writer makes no promise what-so-ever (in any direction) and this blog may not be used to treat, diagnose, correct, worsen or eliminate any condition, state, deficientcy, over-dose, or complications the reader may or may not be experiancing at the time of reading, (or any time there-after). The writer assumes no responsibilty to the above mentioned items experianced AFTER reading this blog, either. The writer is not a professional in any sence of the word, and takes no responibility for the results of reading this blog. Do not blame the writer if you fall asleep on your keyboard while reading and leave spit in the keys, do not blame the writer if you laugh while reading this blog and spew your drink of choice on the monitor. The writer will not compensate you for replacement of either, or any others damaged while reading this blog. In addition, the writer takes this time to thank you for stopping by and asks that you leave a comment! Thank you, and please continue.

I am a writer. I have always been one, and will always be one. As of late, I have gotten further and further away from writing, except for the daily blah-blah blog of my life...but that's just cut and dry; an on-going update for friends and family to keep up-to-date on the goings-on in our lives. Can we say YAWN.

That is not writing. I intend to get back to my 'roots', and really write. But first there are some things that I will have to explain. Just to make things easier for those easily confused (and me to remember my own blogging rules), I'll list them in the grade-school simple 1, 2, 3 format.

The Top 10: (for now)

1. Blog titles will never reflect the contents of the blog (except for today). I hate titles, but love throwing people off.

2. There will be posts about my husband and children and my work. The names of these people and places will be detailed, and explainations as to the reason behind these suedo names will be given.

3. There will possibly be posts about any or all of my wonderful animals. Yes, there are a lot of them, and yes, I can gush about my 4-footed or finned babies.

4. Depending upon demand there might be poems posted. I often do not like sharing poems that I've written; but as all things change so might this one.

5. No, there is no real "Fishhookville" in Alaska (that I know of), and I certainly do not really live there, if there is. Fishhookville is a product of my imagination, and I live there!

6. I do not now, nor ever will claim to be funny. Things in my life are funny, funny things happen to me, but I, myself, am not a inherently funny person...now that's a different subject for my husband!

7. There will be a posting schedule. It is as follows: When I feel like it. Sorry, but you can't just post for the sake of posting, people! For a well-written and thought out (or at least semi-literate) posting, there must be something that happens first! HONESTLY!

8. On the other-hand...I may have the irrisitable urge to post multipule times a day.

9. Soap-box postings will be prefaced by a warning and a disclaimer.

10.I am Brillantly Inept...and as such I am not great, wonderful, bad, horrible or anything in between. I am a 20-something work-outside of the home housewife and mother of four children.

And now some general house-keeping. Firstly, lets start with my family's names. These names have been chosen with utmost care to explain the person's personality and my love and annoyance for them. *Yes, I get annoyed by my loved ones, if you don't, you aren't normal!*

A lot of thought has gone into these names. Should I use names that I call them in real-life as their blog-names? Would that be a miss-use of the pet-name I've given them as their loving wife and mother? Would giving them a entirely new name be damaging to them in 10 years when they find this blog in the space of the internet and they find out what I've been calling them? Alot of questions there, and I really don't care! The names I've chosen are just going to have to work!

My wonderful, dear husband-His name is "Captain". No he's NOT a Captain! This name because he demands respect of his family (and deserves it!), and thus, I will give him a respecting alias.

My eldest child will be known as "Bone Head". No, I do not call him Bone Head. Upon the task of re-naming my first child (whom I've already named), I came to a huge brick wall. How can I possibly re-name the child that it took weeks to name in the first place? Okay, maybe I could, but I'm feeling lazy, so I asked the child in question. HE said Bone Head. Alrighty, that's it, then.

My next child is easy to name. I don't know why she's easy to name and the oldest wasn't. Her name is Princess Pout. Why? Because I said so. Haha, couldn't resist. Because she has two sides to her, the Princess-where she's all smiles and flowers and butterflies...and the evil twin side when she's difficult.

The next has always been known as Shorty. She is short. I know this nickname sound derogatory, but it's just how it is. Once upon a time, we were all thinking up nicknames, and I asked her how she liked "shorty", she loved it! Ever since then, she's been Shorty. That's just the way of it.

My next monster is hard to name as well. He's got so many nicknames, that it's difficult to decide upon just one to call him for the sake of writing here. There's even more nicknames that I call him in my head, but he's recently told me that he doesn't LIKE those names, so I may not address him by those any longer. So, for purposes of this blog, he will be known as "Monster Monkey". I believe this name explains its self.

Along with my human family, we have quiet a few pets. Four ferrets, a cat, a dog, two horses, and several fish. These all may or may not be named if and when I post about them. And may or may not have changed names. Who knows?

And now I must load all the kids into the truck, and get our butts into town for some errands. That's it...end of transmission. Wasn't that fun?