Just enough energy to....

post these thingies....cause I wanna, and cause I seriously only have enough in me tonight to post these, instead of thinking of something to actually write....*I started a new job on Tuesday-cashier at a local small-time (actually they are big) wharehouse store.

and so...stolen from Seven Seeds (whom I just found and love)

Thursday Thirteen: Thoughts On Babies
1. Babies have to have the most wonderful smell on the face of the earth. Even poopy, pukey, milky and everything else. Their smell is just the best.

2. Babies are wonderful things to have for a while and GIVE BACK!

3. I think a baby's first laugh is what angels sound like.

4. As much as I do NOT want another baby, I still get teary sometimes at the thought that I won't.

5. I sometimes have gas (duh we all do), and that always makes me think of the first flutterings of baby kicks.

6. Sometimes I pray that my husband will someday agree to adopting a baby.

7. I'm about to have 2 new babies to cuddle, and can't wait! (both s-i-l are preggers)

8. I miss reading all the books and articles about being pregnant and having a baby.

9. I have only finished about 1/3 of my first child's baby book. Child #2 has one, that is empty and the other two don't even have books at all.

10. I'd like to be able to say something totally snarky when people ask me "oh wow, are they all yours?" (someday I WILL)

11. I don't miss waking up at all hours of the night, but I miss sleeping with my babies close to me.

12. My youngest is almost 5. He's the child I didn't want (yet), and I cried when I found out I was going to have him. But I wouldn't change things now for all the money in the world. He's my baby, my little man and I love him!!!

13. If it were possible for us to afford 10 kids, I probably would have had more.


AND....stolen, totaly stolen and shamelessly, from Poppy

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I remember the hours my parents spent putting lights on our real trees, and I don't think it was exactly enjoyable for them. So we got a fake one. But it's got pine tree car smelly things on it! :)

3. When do you put up the tree?This is a source of major contention in my house. I do NOT like my tree up until at the most 3 days before the big day. But hubby and the kids just cannot wait that long! We set it up last weekend. UGH

4. When do you take the tree down? December 30th and NO later!!

5. Do you like eggnog? GOT RUM?? Sure!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I really don't know. I guess it would have been the jewelry box. The one that my son just broke a couple of months ago. The one I had for about 20 years...

7. Do you have a creche? Okay, no clue what that is...so I guess not.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My hubby.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Any of my kids. As long as I can find what I'm thinking about.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Ugh Neither!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas! Family tradition!!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? haven't started yet this year...no clue!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope. Things that have done their time in the house get sent to the thrift store...as the previously metioned items did.....

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Orange Juice! Mixed with either champene or vodka...oh and we always have delish cinimon rolls too.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?Clear.

17. Favorite Christmas song? um....It's begining to look a lot like Christmas?

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Stay home. I'm so not up to battleing the hordes on Christmas!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? LOL yeah!!! Got kids, will sing

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star, but Captain had been saying "we'll put our angel on top of the tree", don't know if that's a hint. I like our star, it plugs in!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We're allowed to open ONE present on Christmas Eve, which is always the ornament that Grandparents sent (to the kids). Christmas Morning, we eat our OJ (and alcohol) and rolls then open stockings. Then wait a bit for the anticipation to build then open presents.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The stupid toy commericals! UGH! If I hear "I want that" one more time....

23. What I love most about Christmas? When it works out right to have a QUIET snowy walk after opening presents. If it's snowing all the better!



Okay that's it, and that's really much more than I thought it would be. Gosh, I had to THINK! And I'm sure I could have come up with better answers if I wasn't so drunk*...errr I mean tired!

*I'm not DRUNK! I've only had 2 rum & cokes! lol

Thrifty Christmas

My house will be full of crabby kids today. 3/4 of said crabs are in the begining stages of the stomache yuck that I'm just now getting over. Yes I've been sick all this time I've been writing and feeding horses and all that. Feeling much better today, just in time to take care of sickies. Yippeee

Yesterday's trip to pay bills turned out wonderfully!

Despite my stupid moments including, but not limited to: Feed store guy saying I was waddleing. Same feed store guy also asked stupid me "what can I get ya" to which I replied. "I need food" to which he laughed and said...."well we've got candy there, and some juice and soda and some yogurt". Yeah, um horse food, I normally goto the feed store for my groceries. Yeah thanks, it's just me, the waddleing lady who can't keep her places of consumerism straight.
He is a very nice guy, though (the feed store guy), even if he always make me smell something when I'm there. Yesterday it was yummy rose scented goat milk soap.

OH! But the wonderfullness! Monster Monkey was heartbroken after dropping the give-aways off at the thrift store. I mean, the whole nine yards, head hanging, tears just dropping like a storm, the old heartbroken cry. I caved. We went into the thrift store to look for a little replacement toy, to make him feel better.

So, we stood, we looked, we played. I waited and waited and waited. I told him which toy I'd get if I was him. I waited some more. I spied baby toys! **My sister-in-law is expecting! She's due in July, and I'm as excited as a little girl riding her first pony! I get to have a baby and give it back! Words cannot begin to convey my giddiness!** I scooped up all the toys that I really liked. Put a couple back, picked up a few more....ended up spending a whopping $1.75 on these....

As MM kept looking and trying to decide on which toy was the "coolest", my eye caught on something quite close. I tried to stay away, I tried my hardest, I promise!
I kept telling myself that we were only here to get something small for MM, and I'd already gone off that to get the baby toys.
But they were calling me. They were sceaming, I tell ya!

And so...

I came home with this! The sled is all metal and I fell in love with it the instant I saw it! It's about 2 feet tall. I'm not sure where I'm going to put it yet. I never know where I'm going to put anything. Not even things that I already have had up in the past. It's never the same two years in a row. BUT! I think it'd be adorable either in the bathroom, or near my door.

This wall hanging thingy is just wonderful! The snowmen are 3D! Again, NO clue where this is going. I'll either have to take something down, or put up more nails.

About this time the workers of the place came into the area with a large shopping cart and started putting MORE stuff out on the shelves and hangers.

The hordes flocked like sea gulls on a discarded salmon. They came out of the wood-work!

But I was in there, I saw, I grabbed...yes even out of the cart! LOL I asked first!

The ladies didn't have to "stock" half of the things in the cart, they were almost all snapped up by Christmas decoration hungry people like myself.

The snowman is a candle! The hat comes off and the candle is inside. It's never been lit...and I don't think it will be. Mr. Snowman looks a little freaky without the top of his head.

I got a few other really neat-o items but blogger hates me today and I can't upload anything else.

But trust me, they are neat!

I'm waiting a bit and seeing iff SIL wants to come with me back to the thrift store today. I want more!! I think this wonderful find is starting to break the ice, and my grinch-like heart is starting to thaw!

Maybe I'll allow Captain and the kids put up the tree this weekend....

OH! All this stuff, plus a Monopoly Jr game and MM's new toy car came to a grand total of $8.75. This was a garbage bag FULL! I'm going back!

Gone with the Wii-nd

The wind is GONE! *Does happy dance*

Captain told me this last night-travel back with me to the morning of the doggie doo....

Captain "There's a big mess in there, could you clean it up?"

Bone Head walks into family room....."WHO let the horses in?"

I fell on the bed laughing when I heard about this! I then had to explain why it was so funny to me....that I'd blogged about horse poop in the very same room....he ended up nearly falling OFF the bed, laughing. Yes we are easily amuzed.

Last night also brought the conclusion of Sci Fi's Tin Man and a huge let-down. I hate when movies spend so much time working it all up and then the ending is just--blah. It was a good show all-in-all, but I think they rushed the ending to fit it all in *only* three 2-hour episodes. Anyways....

This is what I want for Christmas. Erm...I mean this is what I want to get my children for Christmas. Yeah, that's it. But can we? No sir, we cannot. At least not yet! I'm not ready to give up hope, when Christmas is still 20 days away!

I did a massive search of all stores in the area on Sunday. No luck and very little customer service. It's not even available online. No one has a clue as to when a new shipment will come in.

And so, I wait for the email in my in-box saying that it's available, and hope and pray. Cause if we can't get this, I have NO CLUE what we're getting the kids for Christmas....oh so sad!!!

I figured it up as there's about 20 stores in the area that might sell this item. If each store gets 100 units, that's 2000 units total. In an area that has 200,000 + people. Yeah...that's gunna work.

I really didn't think that it would be that hard to find one. They have been out for a while, right? The rush has (or should have) passed by now, and now it should just be people like me who have finally talked their S.O. into it. (Oh and that took one of his friends getting one(no clue how), and him playing it before he agreed)

Okay, okay I'm sure there are some places out there in cyber-land that still have this in stock...I haven't checked EVERYWHERE! Mostly because I don't have a credit card to everywhere! Just a few places. And no, I don't have a bank card thingy that works as a credit card online. Yeah, I'm living in the Dark Ages, and no it's not an Alaska thing-it's a me thing.

Today is "pay the bills" day, so I get to run around to all the various places and do just that. Oh and drop off the trunk-load of old clothes and toys I have so that I can pick up a little hay. Cause of course, the hay guy hasn't called us back yet, and the trailer we borrow is already borrowed....soooooo

Yeah, this is just fun.

Because I wanna....

Because I wanna just sit here rather than doing the long list of things that I should be doing, cause I actually sorta like these things.....and cause I found (erm clicked into, through another) a cool blog. Thanks to Blackbird

What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? tag body stuff for men, dove shower stuff for me, baby magic all-in-one stuff for kids
Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? nope
What would you change about your living room? new color walls, new arrangement for couch, new couch, new tv, new curtains, move fishtank-yeah i don't like the living room
Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? clean
What is in your fridge? food!
White or wheat bread? wheat
What is on top of your refrigerator? change jar, my platters and far holding my dusters
What color or design is on your shower curtain? mine's white with tulips, kids' has fish
How many plants are in your home? a few...only three are mine, other 3 are m-i-l's
Is your bed made right now? nope!
Comet or Soft Scrub? soft scrub
Is your closet organized? not at the moment
Can you describe your flashlight? dont' have one
Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home? glass
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? nope
If you have a garage, is it cluttered? yeah, 2+ car garage and can't even fit one in there
Curtains or blinds? both!
How many pillows do you sleep with? just one
Do you sleep with any lights on at night? nightlights in hallways, fishtank light on in dining room
How often do you vacuum? ugh every day
Standard toothbrush or electric? standard
What color is your toothbrush? pink, purple, clear and white
Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch? not in the winter
What is in your oven right now? notta
Is there anything under your bed? storage bins for clothes out of season-summer now
Chore you hate doing the most? laundry
What retro items are in your home? nothing, I don't like retro
Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? sorta, the computer is in the family room
How many mirrors are in your home? three
What color are your walls? living room-yellow, dining room-blue, kitchen-blue, bathroom-blue, kids bathroom-green, guest room-cream and brown, hallways-sage green Everything else is white....so far
Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home? yeah captain has some, locked up and hidden
What does your home smell like right now? i smell coffee and ferrets
Favorite candle scent? honeydew from party light
What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now? none
What color is your favorite Bible? blue
Ever been on your roof? nope
Do you own a stereo? nope
How many TVs do you have? one
How many house phones? two
Do you have a housekeeper? just me
What style do you decorate in? alaskan ranch
Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?Solid.
Is there a smoke detector in your home? several!
In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip? kids, photos, lockbox

Well, wasn't that fun?

I survived going outside! Didn't even freeze too badly...aparently this whole thing about getting real clothes on is a good idea...



It's now fully light out, but the light is sorta a peach color. It's cloudy, it's not the sun making it's morning apearance...which happens often at sunrise. I love that.



Right now it's just freaky. It reminds me of the one time when we were in Georgia and the tornados came. The color that's just not right for what the clouds and sun are doing.



Trying to avoid either sitting in the crawl space or bath tub. There's no tornados here...no tornados.....

Cherry Chocolate Wind

I hate starting things out with weather, but the weather is the biggest news right now. It's freezing! The horrible wind is still here, 20-30 mph but today it feels like -11 out there.

I drove the kids to the bus stop. It's only .10 of a mile there, and it's only 5 feet from my door to the car doors. We froze! Warming up now, since I have cuppa java #2 in my hand-er on my desk. But! The weather report says snow...and warming up. Although not less wind. It's so bad, if a gust hits you in the face, it literally takes your breath away. You don't want to get caught in a long gust, it's bad. And bad enough that it's hard to turn away once you do get hit. Oh and you get hit.

Last year for about 2 weeks, the wind was so bad that it pushed my greenhouse off it's foundation. Pulled the nails and screws right out and pushed it about 2 feet. It also tore off the shed doors, and the stable's shed door. I hope that it doesn't get that bad this year!

Another wonderful by-product of this wind and cold. We woke up to several piles of doggie doo-doo in the family room. I thought I was doing Cody, our pound puppy black lab/shar pei mix, a favor when I didn't let him out one last time before going to bed. Turns out I did myself a DISfavor. Oh well...Bone Head cleaned it up for me! Boys are wonderful!

This picture is not great (Captain took it through the window last spring), but it's cute!

We watched episode #2 of Sci Fi channel's mini series Tin Man last night, and I must say that it's getting better. Although poor Zooey really can't act! I don't know if her acting style is what the directors are going for when they cast her, or she's got some connections...but it's almost painfull to see a pretty good movie with other good actors and then there's her. But, dispite the actors, we will be tuning in again tonight to see more.

Monster Monkey is on another dress-up phase, this time it's "Army Guy". Last one was Superman and before that was a ninja. So now he's dressed daily in mis-matched cammo, and his spiderman snowboots.

He carries his backpack loaded with all the things a 4 year old commando might need (even a much-smooshed PB&J), and carries his Avatar glider stick thingy as his gun.

It's too cute to say, so here's a picture of him...before he found cammo pants too!

He says he wants to join the Army when he's big. I say wow that's great. I know that in a day, week, month or year he'll change his mind and want to be something else.

Come Spring, I'm guessing he'll be Mr. Dare devil again.

One addition I wanted to make to I am...I am not. I am not a decorator, but I love to paint and remodel. We just finished (by we I mean Captain helped for about an hour and then I finished) painting our main bathroom. It's toothpaste blue-I mean SKY blue. Captain is now sketching out what he plans to paint on the walls. Pretty much Arizona. We both grew up there, and we love the colors. It will be a mostly desert scene. He's a wonderful artist (something else I wish I was), and I know it'll be great once he gets TO IT. But for now, I smell toothpaste everytime I walk into the room. Everyone thinks I'm nuts, but my brain sees it and I smell it. Same thing happened when I painted the guest room a wonderful chocolate brown. I smelled chocolate!

Who knows what I'll smell when I plaster the walls in the family room. It's sorta an orange, so maybe pumpkin pie? I'll be sure to report!

Going out to brave the wind now. I must feed the horses, and I really want to do a quick run around the house to make sure there's nothing damaged and nothing else that I missed in my winter prep. I do know there's a wind chime I missed, I hear it...but I'm not sure where it is. At least I'll be able to follow the sound!

If no post later today or tomorrow, I've surely turned into a ME ice-cube. Hopefully a gallon of coffee can thaw me out!

Sorry once again to the neighbors. I think today I'll get totally dressed before I head out.

I am...I am not

I survived November! Now here comes December and all it's wonderfulness...

Yeah, I'm not the gal you'll find in the kitchen baking delectible holiday treats. I'm not the gal you'll find spending hours in the craft room, making the perfect hand-made gift for every extended family member. I'm not even the gal you'll find putting out a trillion holiday trinket decorations.

Nope, I make a few treats..."Puppy Chow" is the only thing I must make every year. It's the Chex chocolate recipe...check the side of a chex box! I'm also not the type to share recipes.

Nope, IF I find a crafty thing that I think I can actually complete, and have a person that will LOVE it, I will do it. But mostly, I'm the gal who goes to the craft fairs and buys other people's hard work. My hands thank me for that.

Nope, I have a few boxes of decorations. Most of them for the tree, itself. I do have zillions of lights...but those aren't my fault. They were left in the garage by the previous owner, and hey, why not use them?

BUT! It's already December, and if you didn't know...it's freaking freezing here in the Last Frontier. The outside lights weren't put up when it was still somewhat warm, so unless we get a warm-up there won't be any outside lights. Sorry folks, ya wanna come do it for me?

So you're thinking, "This girl's not Martha, who is she?" What? You're not thinking that? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

I believe myself to be a moderatly great amature photographer. I didn't pay for the kids' school pictures this year (I'd need to take out a loan for four kids). I'm going to take them myself with my wonderful 35mm!

I am a struggling homemaker, who has the task of doing dishes and making dinner down, but cannot find the right schedule for doing the loads of laundry this family produces.

I am the crazy lady on the road who will take out the trash or dog or feed the horses in my pajamas. There have been many neighbors who get to see my PJ bottoms in the morning. I like to think that the people just down with the little red car prefers the white ones with the green and blue paint splash-like spots. *

I am also the crazy mom who will walk out the door and shout for her kids. Others on the road have bells, whistles or gosh the telephone to wrangle their scattered children. I yell. I like to pretend I'm calling pigs in for their slops.

I suggested to Captain (my wonderful hubby) last night that if we could train the horses to enter doors, we could bring them in the house on nights like last night. ** It was all a wonderful idea until he pointed out that while the manure would be no problem, the urine would. Hmmmm...the tiled floor is looking better and better! Until then, I guess they'll have to be happy enough outside.

The weather...I guess all great conversations either start with, or end up with the weather. At least they do in my world. So, what's the weather, besides freaking freezing? Well, folks, its a balmy 14 degrees out there, with wind out of NNE at 26 mph, with gusts WAY more than that. That all totals a wind-chill factor of -5 and lower. (wind chill is the wind blowing and makes the actually temp FEEL colder). While this is not even close all that Jack Frost can throw at us, it is the coldest it's been so far this winter, and we're not liking it at all!

And so, to combat the little trips that I must make outside to do various chores and things, I make a giant pot of coffee and drink it. Thus ending up jittering all over the house getting some done, but mostly just trying to remember what it is that I'm trying to do.

With that, it's light out enough now to feed the horses, so here I go...I'm sorry neighbors with the red car, my PJ's today are the blue ones, not your favs. ***

* I've never actually MET these neighbors. We've lived here over a year, and I haven't even said hello to them. Course, they haven't said hello to me, either.

**The horses HATE the wind, mostly because it deadens their ability to hear what's going on around them, not because it's cold. They do have a stable, which is always open and available to them, but they will only go in it if it's raining!

*** The thought does cross my mind, that maybe if I actually get dressed before doing outside chores, I wouldn't have to drink so much coffee to stay warm. Hmmmm...but then what would the neighbors gossip about?

Ugh, Flies!

I have a rather serious issue. We have about a zillion flies in the house. They are begining to swarm.

Captain said it was because I was keeping the horses's grain in the family room/office/junk room. He moved the grain to the garage (where now the mice can get it), and we still have flies.

Why do we have flies? Because it's cold outside and warm in here. We open the windows in the family room to smoke when it's a nasty day (don't yell at me, door to the rest of the house is shut and children are not allowed in the room!). Flies come in those windows. And they come in the doors, because having 4 children and currently 3 adults living in the house...the doors open ALOT.

I don't blame the flies. I would search for some warm place too. But they must go! One decided to share my coffee with me this morning. And there's at least 4 very drunk flies around here somewhere. Left a bit of vodka & mt dew sitting out in a cup last night, hoping to KILL the darn things. When I got up, there were 4 in there, but oh so not dead....really slow though! *evil laugh*

I can't swat these darn things. They don't land. They just fly around and around in the middle of the room. Sometimes sending out scouts to the out-lieing areas to search for food, and the occasional cup of coffee or vodka.

And so, it's all-out war at my house! Coming soon to a corner near me...fly strips, fly bait, fly killer ala mode. If it claims to get rid of flies, I'm getting it! But I gotta get paid first....until then I'll cover my coffee cup and vodka (or whatever), and walk the edge of the room....not through the middle were the evil masses of flying demon-spawn have taken up residence. Yeah.

two more days, two more days, little flies...just wait.

It's Raining Hay

I just spent too much money on 4 bales of hay. Grrr...I hate square bales. Overall, the cost to pound ratio is much better for a "round" bale of hay. Say 800-1200 pounds is $80 to $100. Which if we use the 1200/100 breaks down to about $1.20 a pound. Square bales are 50 pounds and cost $14 so that means $3.50 a pound. Hmmmm something isn't right here.

But I couldn't get a large bale today...I could only afford a few squares until we get paid. Joy! Oh and I got to load them up in the Yukon. Even more fun, now I get to vacuum it all out.

oh and a ps...I would have had enough hay to last out the time, but some of it went bad, due to the rain. The awful rain.....I really need to get the lean-to built to put the hay in.

Anywho...we're selling our Quarter Horse...so if anyone out there wants a 13 hands, reddish-brown B*, let me know. She needs a seriously experianced trainer with time and is up for a challenge. This person should also be fearless cause she likes to kick for no reason, and you can't touch her feet with a ten-foot pole. I must admit that we thought we were up for the challenge, but oh so not. So...she's up for sale....I'll take $400 for her, and that's just pathetic.

Actually, I'd really like to find her a good home where the people have tons of time and experiance to try to train her. She's a horse's horse and pretty much has no respect for people. Which is sad.

Monkey is running around the house and outside without a shirt on. He's gotta be freezing. Silly kid.

In public embaressing mom moment: At local mexican restaurant, ordered a stawberry daquari....oh so yummy! Monkey wants to taste cause there's a lot of whipped cream on the top. I say, "No kiddo, you can't taste it, it's alcohol." (I've taught my children about alcohol, by name, they know they can't have it). He replies, "But Daddy gives me alcohol!" Quite loudly.
My husband, Captian, doesn't give our children alcohol, just so you know! My wonderful little son was just trying his darnedest to get some of that yummy-looking pink stuff.

Which reminds me of when Bone Head was about a year old. I took him out to McD's and he was impatient for his soda. He started yelling "beer, beer, beer"....which is what he was currently calling anything good to drink. I gotta lot of strange looks for that one. I think, because of us drinking beer, and the fact that he couldn't have any, made it work out in his head that it must be super-yummy.

I don't know what goes on in the minds of kids...but if anyone truely ever figures it out, they are going to be quite popular.

And so, I leave you with this parting thought.....Autumn isn't nearly as fun when the leaves that have fallen don't crunch when you step on them. Darn rain...........

Flip a dime

I am thinking about joining Payperpost...although...I've tryed some paid-for-writing things before, and do great for a while, then loose it. Epinions was great...but they changed the payment foundations, and you odn't get as much unless huge ammounts of people goto your opinion. But I guess if I wrote alot of opinions that would work out.

Thing is...I really sorta don't want to go back to work. I quit my job for now...not that it was a great one...actually it really bit the big one. Standing for hours on end wonderfully contributed to the vericose veins in my legs to multiply. I need a job that I can sit for and get paid...oh lets shoot for $20 an hour. Yeah...In my dreams, right?

But I could do it. That's just what's so frustrating! If I applied myself, actually wrote the darn things, and kept up with it, I could probably pull in just as much (or more) as I was working the liquor store. And I must say that idea has real appeal...very, very tempting.

Okay, okay, I've talked myself into it. I'll at least give it a shot, and see where I go from there. So...wait for it.....look for a future post being sponsered. *grin*

Edit: okay...sometime in the future post...I've gotta do more on this blog before I'm eligable. I suppose that would also count checking (caring) about my spelling, in addition to actually writing! All good. I can hear the cha-ching already ;)

So....immediatly future post....re-evaluating the orriginal content and purpose and oh...everything I'd orriginally setup this blog to do (and not do).

Today's post was going to be about strange people I come in contact with at the ol' convience store that I work at. It's not about strange people anymore. I started writing, got a bunch of crap on the "page", and then stopped. In one swoop of right clicking mouse hand, it's all gone. I, in my fit of nicotine-withdrawl, decided it was all crap and I hated the internet, my post and the horses they rode in on. Burried the post, shot the horses, and I've got the internet tied up in my basement. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet...probably subject it to thousands of porn pop-ups until it confesses that it really could go faster if it wanted to.

Somewhere in the middle of that delusional tirade, there's a bit of truth. What is it? I'm going fucking nuts.

I'm at 24 +19 hours of not smoking. My children see me coming and run for the safety of their (now clean) rooms. And I could probably find something totally un-flattering to say about 90% of the people who came into the store last night. Including the people that I actually like.

If you've never quit smoking...you'll never understand. If you have....I'll just say that I'm at the point where I could chew iron pegs right now...and that's just after having lunch. I just hope no one ticks me off, because I'll not be held responsible for my actions. My lungs are also in revolt. They apparently don't know what to do with all the clean air that is coming in, so they are making me cough a whole lot. Tons of fun that one is.

I've got to goto the grocery store now. Watch your local news tonight...there may be a report of crazed cigaratte quitter doing something totally justafied at the local grocery....or not.

The old hitchin post

I'm sitting here, going through some of my favorite blogs, among those are http://crummychurchsigns.blogspot.com/ and http://underpaidkeptwoman.blogspot.com/ and http://mattresspolice.com
.....when...

Shorty and Monster Monkey come into the room, they are playing cars. Not the movie, but crawling around on the floor with matchbox cars, and they are not only making them roll, they are making them talk. Too cute, right? I glance down adoringly, but say nothing because that will distract them and make them bug me...I'm still on cuppo coffee #1, don't bug me yet!

Anywho, they're playing and I'm reading and laughing when I hear.....(wait for it)

Dum Dum De Dum....Dum Dum De Dum...Dum Dum De Dum Dum...Dum Dum De Dum

I can't keep quiet in my corner at this one. I turn and say, "Are your cars getting married?" Shorty looks up and say "Yes Mama, they have to!" hmm... "They have to? Why?" At which point, Shorty rolls her eyes at me and informs me, "Because they love each other!"

Ohhh! Well that makes sence. Then I get more of the exciting and romantic coutship of these two cars. Apparently, the boy car was walking one day and wolf whistled at the girl car. That was the start of a wonderful, whorlwind of a time...totaling, oh about 5 minutes of dancing, sight-seeing and *shhh* kissing. And then they upped and decided to marry.

The "cars" are now eating their breakfast, but I predict that they will soon form a crime fighting duo, with I love you's thrown inbetween all the action of bad-guy butt-kicking. I also predict that the relationship will last about 45 minutes, at which point, the cars will forcefully throw themselves at one-another in attempt to kill eachother, and the children will both come screaming to me with the words "she did/he did" on their lips.

Bone Head is watching cartoons. My children (esp him) watch too much TV. My "good mom" is coming out and I plan on kicking him out in the *gasp* sunshine after this episode is over. Princess Pout is also on the couch, and yep, she's pouting. She's still sore after yesterday's episode of me telling her she could not do her chores.

Picture this: Yesterday, around 2 pm, bright and sunny day, after all morning and early afternoon of allowing the monsters-erm I mean adorable munchkins-to play outside and at friends' houses, I call them in for chore time. I line everyone out with the assigned chores of the day and set them to it. Smiling faces all around, and smilie faces on the chore chart. Until...Monster Monkey is already done with his chores, so he wantes to help Princess Pout move the chairs so that she can sweep the floor under the table. All heck breaks loose. P.P. screams at him, and pushes him across the room. "I want to do my chores!" Mom (me) comes running to see what's going on. I explain to P.P that MM is only trying to help, and she's having none of it. After ushering MM on to another chore, PP keeps up the asault on everyone's ears. At that point, I'm just done. I take the broom away from her and send her to her room. All the while, she's yelling "I want to do my chores!"

Now isn't that a different one?

We'll be starting chore time earlier today, and I can't wait to see what happens today!

Note: Figure out some way to explain why two girl horses aren't going to magically have a baby, just because there are two horses.

Day One

Warning: If you are allergic to stories about children, chores, cleaning, poop and other bodily functions, animals, and daily life; do not continue reading this blog. Please consult your doctor before begining any blogrolling activities and do not continue unless you are prepared to possibly laugh, maybe groan and definatly hear about life of a mother. The FDA has not okayed this blog, nor will it ever. The writer makes no promise what-so-ever (in any direction) and this blog may not be used to treat, diagnose, correct, worsen or eliminate any condition, state, deficientcy, over-dose, or complications the reader may or may not be experiancing at the time of reading, (or any time there-after). The writer assumes no responsibilty to the above mentioned items experianced AFTER reading this blog, either. The writer is not a professional in any sence of the word, and takes no responibility for the results of reading this blog. Do not blame the writer if you fall asleep on your keyboard while reading and leave spit in the keys, do not blame the writer if you laugh while reading this blog and spew your drink of choice on the monitor. The writer will not compensate you for replacement of either, or any others damaged while reading this blog. In addition, the writer takes this time to thank you for stopping by and asks that you leave a comment! Thank you, and please continue.

I am a writer. I have always been one, and will always be one. As of late, I have gotten further and further away from writing, except for the daily blah-blah blog of my life...but that's just cut and dry; an on-going update for friends and family to keep up-to-date on the goings-on in our lives. Can we say YAWN.

That is not writing. I intend to get back to my 'roots', and really write. But first there are some things that I will have to explain. Just to make things easier for those easily confused (and me to remember my own blogging rules), I'll list them in the grade-school simple 1, 2, 3 format.

The Top 10: (for now)

1. Blog titles will never reflect the contents of the blog (except for today). I hate titles, but love throwing people off.

2. There will be posts about my husband and children and my work. The names of these people and places will be detailed, and explainations as to the reason behind these suedo names will be given.

3. There will possibly be posts about any or all of my wonderful animals. Yes, there are a lot of them, and yes, I can gush about my 4-footed or finned babies.

4. Depending upon demand there might be poems posted. I often do not like sharing poems that I've written; but as all things change so might this one.

5. No, there is no real "Fishhookville" in Alaska (that I know of), and I certainly do not really live there, if there is. Fishhookville is a product of my imagination, and I live there!

6. I do not now, nor ever will claim to be funny. Things in my life are funny, funny things happen to me, but I, myself, am not a inherently funny person...now that's a different subject for my husband!

7. There will be a posting schedule. It is as follows: When I feel like it. Sorry, but you can't just post for the sake of posting, people! For a well-written and thought out (or at least semi-literate) posting, there must be something that happens first! HONESTLY!

8. On the other-hand...I may have the irrisitable urge to post multipule times a day.

9. Soap-box postings will be prefaced by a warning and a disclaimer.

10.I am Brillantly Inept...and as such I am not great, wonderful, bad, horrible or anything in between. I am a 20-something work-outside of the home housewife and mother of four children.

And now some general house-keeping. Firstly, lets start with my family's names. These names have been chosen with utmost care to explain the person's personality and my love and annoyance for them. *Yes, I get annoyed by my loved ones, if you don't, you aren't normal!*

A lot of thought has gone into these names. Should I use names that I call them in real-life as their blog-names? Would that be a miss-use of the pet-name I've given them as their loving wife and mother? Would giving them a entirely new name be damaging to them in 10 years when they find this blog in the space of the internet and they find out what I've been calling them? Alot of questions there, and I really don't care! The names I've chosen are just going to have to work!

My wonderful, dear husband-His name is "Captain". No he's NOT a Captain! This name because he demands respect of his family (and deserves it!), and thus, I will give him a respecting alias.

My eldest child will be known as "Bone Head". No, I do not call him Bone Head. Upon the task of re-naming my first child (whom I've already named), I came to a huge brick wall. How can I possibly re-name the child that it took weeks to name in the first place? Okay, maybe I could, but I'm feeling lazy, so I asked the child in question. HE said Bone Head. Alrighty, that's it, then.

My next child is easy to name. I don't know why she's easy to name and the oldest wasn't. Her name is Princess Pout. Why? Because I said so. Haha, couldn't resist. Because she has two sides to her, the Princess-where she's all smiles and flowers and butterflies...and the evil twin side when she's difficult.

The next has always been known as Shorty. She is short. I know this nickname sound derogatory, but it's just how it is. Once upon a time, we were all thinking up nicknames, and I asked her how she liked "shorty", she loved it! Ever since then, she's been Shorty. That's just the way of it.

My next monster is hard to name as well. He's got so many nicknames, that it's difficult to decide upon just one to call him for the sake of writing here. There's even more nicknames that I call him in my head, but he's recently told me that he doesn't LIKE those names, so I may not address him by those any longer. So, for purposes of this blog, he will be known as "Monster Monkey". I believe this name explains its self.

Along with my human family, we have quiet a few pets. Four ferrets, a cat, a dog, two horses, and several fish. These all may or may not be named if and when I post about them. And may or may not have changed names. Who knows?

And now I must load all the kids into the truck, and get our butts into town for some errands. That's it...end of transmission. Wasn't that fun?